Reply to post: At The Oncoming Scorn, re: cows.

Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At The Oncoming Scorn, re: cows.

There is a campground not too far from where I used to live. It is part of a farmer's pasture where his cows graze, but since they're used to people & everybody leaves each other alone, the farmer earns a bit of cash renting out bits for campers.

It's quite nice, on the shore of a lake, great fishing, hiking, bird watching, canoeing (no power boats allowed), & generally a most pleasant place in which to pitch a tent, sit around a camp fire, & make Smores (melted ghram cracker/marshmallow/chocolate treats).

One night I'm out at said site, need to take a wee, & come out of my tent... to find a cow standing not ten feet away, absolutely still, staring at me as if it's considering the best way to get away with murder. I cautiously step aside to go around, the cow steps sideways to match. I move back the other way, so does the cow. I stop, he stops. I wave my arms & yell, he just chews his cud & says "moo" in the same tone used to deliver lines like "I bet you die screaming."

I freak out, run the other direction past my tent, & sprint just as fast as my legs could carry me to the nearest stone outhouse. I didn't come out until morning. I found my tent had been trampled, the tattered remains shat upon, & my leather hiking boots stomped upon until they were barely identifiable.

The farmer gave me my site rental fee back, I got the hell out, & I hope there were LOTS of hamburgers for supper the next few months.

Fucking cows.

It's a good thing I'm blind now & can't see, otherwise I'd take a flame thrower to the site & have me a BBQ.


I'll get my coat, it's got my Dried Frog Pills in the pockets. Lots of 'em. Tasty, tasty pills...

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