Reply to post: Re: At Vince H, re: FlockChain...

Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest

The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge

Re: At Vince H, re: FlockChain...

The more terrifying thing is when it's a herd of cows stalking you.

I was following a footpath through one of the several interconnected fields on my then normal evening walk (While Mrs Scorn was left watching the recordings of Corry\Brookside on her return from work), when the cows started moving en-mass at high speed from the corner of the field I was currently in to a position in another corner & then stop to chew the grass & stare at me. A few minutes later they did it again.

As a kid I hung around the nearby cattle market & armed with that knowledge & experience, thought that this was unusual behaviour for cows & perhaps instead of following my more normal walk through the rest of the fields to the pub I was aiming for, I should opt for the shorter route out of the field & towards the stile nearest to me.

I was about 100 yards away, when I heard the hooves again & glanced to see what they were doing now & discovered they were bearing down on me at speed, my legs instantly went into overdrive & I ran like fuck for the stile & near enough vaulted over it, then coming to a panting sweating stop, I turned around to see that the cows had stopped & were as tightly packed as they could manage at the other side of the style, huffing & mooing at me.

I had always preferred my cows well done on a plate or as furniture, footwear (or any other garment or furnishing), since then it's become a vengeful lifestyle.

Icon because of the damn lucky escape I had.

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