Re: We need some ...
Signs I've seriously considered leaving for the people I share facilities with:
"The oldest man made machine in the world is very probably the hinge, which likely predates the wheel. From a simple flap of hide to the machined pin and socket affair of today, the hinge is an elegant and simple answer to the problem of how to move things out of the way so they can be moved back again reliably. This toilet seat is fitted with such a device. Use it. "
"Spreading fecal matter around the area to mark territory is normal behavior if you are a Hippopotamus. If you are a human being it is not. Stop shitting on the floor you assclown."
"If you look into this toilet bowl and see something other than water, you haven't finished flushing."
"If your toilet ritual involves shitting on the floor and then treading in the feces so you can walk it all over the floor, why not consider shitting outside with the rest of the animals?"
"If your toilet ritual involves flushing half a roll, try flushing it down in stages. Remember: If you jammed the plumbing three times in a row, chances are good the laws of physics are working against your bizarre behaviour."
"Please flush before using this toilet. Alternately, please find either a different Indian Restaurant in which to eat your weekly curry as judging by the evidence of the last month they are trying to kill you. Either way, stop leaving the contents of your bowels for everyone else to enjoy."
"If you have found the toilet jammed up and filled with the contents of the Indian Food Gourmet's bowels, flushing again will not end well for anyone. Please stop doing it you moron."