Do you want one
If you would like to buy one of these, I have two suggestions. The first is that you come to your senses. However, assuming that failed, you should go to the next suggestion:
1. Find an android device that costs very little. Most of these are crap, but you're going to use it for nothing, so that's fine.
2. Turn off mobile data and WiFi.
3. Don't turn them back on.
If step 3 is causing trouble for you, consider the following options:
3a. Make code that blocks turning on WiFi and cell data as soon as it is enabled. Include those hooks that malware and facebook use to make it virtually impossible to uninstall. Grant this code every privilege.
3b. Take the phone apart and damage the WiFi antenna. Also damage the LTE antenna (disable voice over LTE first).
3c. Buy any feature phone that doesn't include a browser, which is most of them.
3d. Go to your closet and take down the ancient feature phones you left there when you started using smartphones. Consult ebay for the replacement of the battery involved, which should cost on the order of $3.
3e. Just get professional help. If you're addicted enough to phones that you can't resist using them for two hours, you have a problem that won't be fixed by a stupid phone, no matter how much cash you spend in the effort. Realize that most people who use phones all the time have a serious reason to and would not have a problem using them less in the event that they didn't need them.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
