dear gracious. Lester would be HORRIBLY disappointed in you all today.
Looks like a fantastic start on a meal. What we need here:
1) on the side, prep a fusion of mustard, horseradish and BBQ sauce. Hotter, better, thicker, stronger.
2) top the gap in the rim off with spiced sausage, herbs of your choosing (me? Thai Basil and ginger)
3) Wrap the pie in woven bacon mat. Secure bacon to the pie.
4) prep "Salad" - fried 'taters, fried yams, onion rings, breaded garlic pickles, if you'd like to go all hoitee toitee, go full on tempura.
5) toss the bacon bomb in the deep fryer (set to hot as hell) and wait for sizzling golden perfection.
6) accompany with loud, aggressive porter or stout.
7) contact local ambulance service for transport to local Emerge/A&E for cardiac resuscitation .