"hates about Windows 10 is the amount of crap it comes installed with that I don't want."
You/we need the LTSB version.
I have been playing with it. Turn off spying options, install classic shell, remove onedrive and a couple of policy edits to put windows update back on a when I say so footing.
After that the only real annoyance left is the control panel and metro style settings dissociative identity disorder crap.
Shame you can't just buy it. People say the 90 day trial version just nags a bit after 90 days so maybe you don't need to buy it.