Unsolicited Goods and Services Act 1971
"Sir! Sir! I've just found this brown envelope on the chair. It must belong to that man from the Make Money Make Porn lobbying group"
"Are you sure Smythe?"
"Well he has been sat there for the past hour bemoaning how the porn industry needs to reign in all the freebies everyone seems content to slurp up"
"Yes, I see how that might appear, but to be safe I best take hold of it and see if he comes back"
"I could chase after him sir"
"No! No need, if he notices it's missing he can arrange to have it collected"
"Enough now Smythe. The unsolicited goods act is quite clear on the matter and Mr Lipstick Round The Nipple has three months in which to affirm his rights to the item and retake possession. After which it becomes my property"
"Yes sir. Of course sir. Is there anything else you need assistance with?"
"Mm. Yes as a matter of fact I do. You remember Mary Whitehouse and her campaign against, well, nature."
"Yes I do"
"Well I need you to find her modern equivalent, because I have some mean minded legislation to push through parliament"