Re: I really wonder
I think it has something to do with the banality of neutral evil. That some people simply never develop a connection between their self centered desires and the need to balance their choices against actual human consequences, so they just kind of naturally fall victim to the corruption of power. "Everyone is doing it anyway why shouldn't I", "This is how the system works and I'm ok with that", "The world isn't fair so I don't care"- no desire to actively hurt people, but when it inevitably happens it's not their problem.
As for what goes through their heads- aneurysms, ideally?