Re: Why go totally F-35?
"And then finally I thought sod it and decided it would be easier to learn French / German / Russian / Mandarin / Sanskrit [delete as foreign adversary changes] and really hit the military-industrial-complex where it hurts."
We should go for the Danish defence solution as proposed by Sandi Toxvig. Spend a relatively small amount of money installing telephones every 500 metres around the coast. When someone picks up the handset a recorded message repeats "We Surrender" in all known languages.