Re: Presumably, Jake ...
I find fighting constipation and constant drowsiness a tad boring.
Yeah, both are very common side-effects of opiods. As is suppression of the breathing reflex. That last one is often the cause of death if you overdose on them.
A possible fix for the constipation is lots of chilli in your food. It irritates the bowels, causing mucous secretion, which loosens faecal matter. Works well for my haemorrhoids, lubricating things enough that they no longer cause problems. However, don't overdo the chillis, otherwise if you cough hard you end up walking like a penguin to get a change of underwear.
As for the heads off, I figured that out many years ago. Caught something on TV (it was back when I had a TV, so many, many years ago) about some farmer whose farm was going bust shooting his jaw off with a shotgun. How humiliating: you decide to kill yourself because you're a failure and you fail at it. Enough to make you want to kill yourself. It was easy enough to figure out what he'd done wrong and how to do it right. Top tip: if you decide to go that way, do it outside, because otherwise you leave somebody with a very unpleasant redecorating job.