That's not a pattern you've given us
It's an operating manual, and as a future vapourpreneur, I offer you my thanks.
Initially, I thought, Elizabeth Holmes, Meredith Perry, they had it easy, one smile and a wink, and the VC's were drooling, that won't work for me. Then I saw the pictures of Rony Abovitz, and I thought, yes, in fact that approach could work for me.
So far so good, I have the plan, I have a face (if not a pretty one). Help me out here commantards, because I need a snazzy name, and a vapourware product. Self driving vehicles and AI appear to be the flavour of the day, so I think I should promise a "quantum advance in autonomous vehicle technology" using "secret algorithms derived from protein folding mathematics". Demonstration vehicles would be shown, although they'd really be driven by dwarfs, or remotely controlled by gullible RC enthusiasts to give me a convincing demonstration product. The name? Autonamo sounds good to me, and has an "Autonomy" ring about, suggesting cutting edge software and a high value exit to a flat footed corporate.
I can't do this alone, so who's up for this? There's at least three years fun, fuelled by the cash of gormless VCs, we'll have bean bag offices, attend and speak at global AI and AV conferences (only if they are in nice places), have our own coffee shop (with naked baristas, natch), pool tables, massage at desk, our corporate policies will allow molesting of willing interns, and anything goes when it comes to expenses. Company car policy is Teslas all round. And unlike Uber, there's no sexism here, if we have any ladies willing to sign up for the management team, we'll let you recruit your pick of interns to molest or abuse.
At the end of three years the VCs will be wondering where it all went wrong, but you'll be known as an experienced tech entrepreneur (who has "learnt wisdom from failure"), and can just slide onto another fully funded gig. But be under no illusions, there is a price for this: The two main downsides will be that we will have to have an office in Shoreditch, and any younger male recruits will have to grow a pointy beard and wear a lumberjack shirt in order to keep up with VC expectations.
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
