Re: The tag line
"towering, majestic Cranberry Tree"
Good try. What you missed is the history of the phrase. Russian cranberry is a bush half a foot tall (tops), growing in swamps (and very tasty too). American cranberry is different species - it is larger. Hence, when the first Russian colonists came back from what is today Northern California with tales of American cranberries nobody believed their tales about the New World and that is exactly where the "towering majestic Cranberry Tree" etymology from is. It originally stood for "Odious American Bullshit". Over time, the American has dropped out of it and it just stands for Odious Bullshit.
So as you see - your take on the translation failed. It is not just "absurd". The full meaning has American in it - from the days when California had French in the south, Russians in the north and not a yank in sight.