Re: Don't give me no static ...
"Note also that opening envelopes with self-adhesive flap generates static -- try opening one in the dark"
Nope. Nothing to do with static - that's Triboluminescence.
Anyone who has ever worked in a darkroom has seen this, for instance when peeling off sticky tape when opening a pack of pgotograpgic paper. BTW, unpeeling a roll of sticky tape in a vacuum will generate X-rays.