Similar position at my present school. Every month the cheque run would grind to a halt due to issues with the printer - the usual sort of issues associated with an old, cheaper mono laser, not pricking up paper, inconsistent toner delivery, jammed paper. Many times I recommended replacing the printer, usually after pulling out bits of shredded cheque from the innards, only to be told there was no money in the budget.
One momentous day I happened to be in the office when they started the cheque run. Cue office lady counting out 4 (yes 4!) pre-printed cheque sheets (the type printed on A4 where the top is a summary of what the cheque was and the cheque itself at the bottom with a perforated area to tear off the cheque) and putting them into the paper drawer after first removing the existing paper. Print run was duly started and presto!, the first cheque gets chewed up.
After she'd calmed down I asked why she only did the run in batches of 4. 'Oh, that's all we need to do each month - everyone else is paid by BACS' Off I trot to the stationary cupboard, select a black ball point pen, return to office and present it to her, suggesting that this method may be a quicker, cheaper and less stressful way of generating the 4 cheques needed each month.
2 weeks later I took the printer away and quietly beat the crap out of it with a 3 pound lump hammer!
Biting the hand that feeds IT
