Reply to post: What's next for Uber?

Overcharge customers, underpay the serfs. Who else but Uber (allegedly)

User McUser
Joke

What's next for Uber?

I've obtained a leaked Uber document outlining upcoming new rules for their drivers. Here are some of the highlights!

-Drivers to be paid in script, which can only be used at the Uber Company Store.

-"Dead Peasant" insurance policies issued on drivers who are then routed by the Uber app along the most dangerous routes (based on traffic fatality statistics.)

- Must legally change their name to "Jeeves."

-Must now pay Uber for permission to drive their own car when "off duty." (Note: Company script is not an acceptable form of payment.)

-Lyft drivers must now be fought to the death (previously only "to incapacitation.")

-Must sign away rights to their "DNA and all works derived there from."

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