Re: "if he's making my childhood dreams come true or just ruining them by making it look easy."
15 years I'll agree -- however - in actual manufacture and firing -- compare even against Arianespace, Spacex has lost far less hardware *overall*, but then, they've also not done "testing" in the same manner.
5 Payloads -- yes, losses all. Certainly not unique to SpaceX. I've watched several launches that were outright losses. Khazhakstan, Florida, Guyana, all have seen hardware lost. Some have even lost people.