Re: The only solution...
"Slaughter is natural causes, for a cow."
I live next to a farm. A while ago I went to look for the farmer, probably to tell him yet another of his sheep had escaped. There was nobody about but I found a dead cow lying on its side the yard and it certainly hadn't been slaughtered.
However, the mention of sheep raises the ideal solution: mutton fat. It seems to be an article of faith amongst sheep farmers that a sheep's only ambition is to die as soon as possible.