Pavement cyclists are easily dealt with. An umbrella whose tip accidentally finds its way into the spokes of the front wheel. For good measure you can abuse the bloodied cyclist lying on the pavement for damaging your brolly.
I find that "accidentally" overlooking them and using the bounce to send them straight into the nearest solid, unforgiving and preferably rough surfaced object is quite satisfying. It's entirely "by accident"because you can't be expected to watch out for cyclists on pavements and as their presence is not entirely legal they can't make too much of an issue of it either.
Using a brolly makes it too intentional, but overlooking them .. well, that's hard to refute if you're in the wrong.
Oh, and I will cross at pedestrian crossings when the light is green. It's not my fault I run into people who think red traffic lights are not for them..