Daily Mail version - with same amount of useful content as this article
Music Makes Phones EXPLODE!
* ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS are using this life hack to reduce house prices in YOUR area.
* Playing music at the phone in your POCKET gives you CANCER.
* Rock a hot dress like our all grown up model at Femail Fashion Finder.
* Samsung and Apple CONTINUE to sell these DANGEROUS phones NEAR YOU.
* MPs do nothing.
<...picture of young woman holding phone and laughing...>
KeepEmOut - Milton Keynes
"I saw an immigrant fella once. He was on benefits, taking our jobs and eating our children. Then, while he was fitting a new kitchen for the missus, I put Ed Sheeran on, his phone exploded and my house price fell by 50 big ones. Scum. Trump is right."