Re: "Unless you go the full totalitarian, and run a private security state"
Which would usually then be replied with, "The one whose families face the consequences if they don't do what I say." There are usually other ways to do it as well. Plus as always there's the matter of nukes. No one's had the cojones to actively use them, particularly on their own people, but if Saddam could willing use chemical weapons in his own borders, what's to say?