All the "lads" who think it is funny to stitch up a flight crew over a banned item that turns out to be innocuous - If one of you ever causes a flight I'm on to divert or delay for your prank, I will hunt you down and administer an admonishment that will seriously hamper your ability to ever try something that stupid again. I only fly when I must, my timetable is generally tight, and I do not appreciate additional delays beyond the unavoidable like weather conditions. You would henceforth only fly airlines that would be able to accommodate hospital bed and respirator.