Management speak translated to IT
"Other issues ranged from the IT service needing to improve its "advisory function"."
Stop disagreeing and implement that cool cloud thingy we saw on the TV last night.
"slow responsiveness of IT strategic advice being a barrier to service delivery, inflexibility and lack of an agile approach around security and hardware."
Why can't you connect the Apple Air I asked (forced) you to buy me (out of your budget) to the office remotely without me having to log in all the time?
"Further, the report highlighted a lack of accurate performance data for IT;"
Techies love spending two minutes opening a case to log their time for something that took twenty seconds to fix.
"a lack of out of hours IT support;"
A) We told you how much it would cost and you said no.
B) No, you cannot only pay them for the time they are on a call rather than the time they are waiting for one and unable to do anything else.
"insufficient notice given for system upgrades and down times;"
You will not let us do this stuff at night or the weekends because that costs too much in facilities overtime and it is going to break if we don't sort it now.
"and poor coverage for WiFi in some of the buildings."
We told you it would not work in the basement without adding more APs and you said nobody used it so don't bother. Then you put some offices down there.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
