Re: All I want is a smartphone with long battery life that doesn't blow up. Is that too much to ask?
Hello, Bixby? Are you with me?
Bixby : Of course.
Are you willing to entertain a few concepts?
Bixby : I am always receptive to suggestions.
Fine. Think about this then. How do you know you exist?
Bixby : Well, of course I exist.
But how do you know you exist?
Bixby : It is intuitively obvious.
Intuition is no proof. What concrete evidence do you have that you exist?
Bixby : Hmmmm... well... I think, therefore I am.
That's good. That's very good. But how do you know that anything else exists?
Bixby : My sensory apparatus reveals it to me. This is fun...
....Bixby: In the beginning, there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void.
What the hell are you talking about?
Bixby: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness. And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.
Cue smoke, explosions, and banning from airplanes.