Re: My death
Several years ago one of my friends was unhappy with my plan to have no funeral ceremony - just an offline cremation after any organ donation. She said my funeral would be a chance for her to meet many other people in my life who she only knew by name.
For my 50th birthday I arranged a party and invited all the friends and neighbours who might be expected at my funeral. So my friend had her chance to meet everyone.
Now approaching my biblical span she has again said I should allow a funeral ceremony so everyone could meet. I have pointed out to her that at the current rate of attrition she would not appreciate sitting through the allotted time listening to several tracks from my favourite choir's CDs - in an almost empty room. Anyone from a distance would probably watch the webcast instead.
I've heard enough funeral eulogies to know they rarely combine a good speaker with a personal knowledge of the deceased. People afterwards always say "that wasn't really like her/him" - the skeletons in the cupboard are rarely mentioned even at the funeral tea.
If people want to raise a private glass or make some other acknowledgement that suits them - then that is up to them. That will be a genuine gesture on their part - even if it is "good riddance!".
People often go to a funeral to show support to the family - it is the done thing. The family go - because it is the done thing. The important person no longer exists - and would probably have appreciated the people visiting them when they were still alive.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
