Re: Not entirely on topic, but...
who tell me that there is no way they can do static addresses on domestic broadband
Of course there is, what they would say if they weren't a bunch of ****ing ****ing ****s is that they won't do because they want to force you to pay extra (double). They figure that if you want a static address then you'll pay for it - even their business broadband has dynamic addresses unless you pay extra (last time I heard it was £5/month extra !).
So no there is no "can't" about this, it is all about "we won't because we want to screw you over".
Same with Sly and StalkStalk - they won't do fixed addresses on "consumer" broadband either.