Re: Feet like flippers?
I also like Hush Puppies.
I love pointing out the Shoe Event Horizon in shoe shops, when I get get asked by the wife or staff why I'm buying a spare set of shoes (that actually comfortably fit & are on some form of sale\discount - Bloody expensive in Canadaland).
COMPU-TEACH:
Posit: you are living in a stagnant, declining civilisation. Where are you looking?
PUPIL:
Down.
COMPU-TEACH:
What do you see?
PUPIL:
My shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct! What do you do to cheer yourself up?
PUPIL:
Uhm… press the button?
COMPU-TEACH:
Incorrect! Think again. Your world is a depressing place; you are looking at your shoes. How do you cheer yourself up?
PUPIL:
I buy a new pair.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct!
PUPIL:
Can I press the button?
COMPU-TEACH:
All right.
PUPIL:
Wa-ho! So nice.
COMPU-TEACH:
Now, imagine everyone does the same thing. What happens?
PUPIL:
Everyone feels nice?
COMPU-TEACH:
Ah, forget the button! Concentrate! Everyone buys new shoes. What happens?
PUPIL:
More shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
And?
PUPIL:
More shoe shops.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct.
PUPIL:
Can I - ?
COMPU-TEACH:
No, no.
PUPIL:
Oh-oooo.
COMPU-TEACH:
And in order to support all these extra shoe shops, what must happen?
PUPIL:
Everyone… must keep buying shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
And how is that arranged?
PUPIL:
Manufacturers dictate more and more different fashions and make shoes so badly that they either hurt the feet or fall apart.
COMPU-TEACH:
So that?
PUPIL:
Everyone has to buy more shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Until?
PUPIL:
Until… everyone gets fed up with lousy, rotten shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
And then what?
PUPIL:
Why can’t I press the button?
COMPU-TEACH:
And then what?! Come on!
PUPIL:
Massive capital investment by the manufacturers to try and make people buy the shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Which means?
PUPIL:
More shoe shops.
COMPU-TEACH:
And then we reach what point?
PUPIL:
The point where I press the button again.
COMPU-TEACH:
Oh, all right.
PUPIL:
Wa-hoo! Ahhhh… So nice, that’s really nice!
COMPU-TEACH:
And then we reach what point?!
PUPIL:
The Shoe Event Horizon! The whole economy overbalances; shoe shops outnumber every kind of shop! It becomes economically impossible to build anything other than shoe shops, and bingo, I get to press the button again!
PUPIL:
Wooo!
COMPU-TEACH:
Wait for permission! Now, what’s the final stage?
PUPIL:
Umm. Every shop in the world ends up as a shoe shop.
COMPU-TEACH:
Full of?
PUPIL:
Shoes that no one can wear.
COMPU-TEACH:
Result.
PUPIL:
Famine, collapse, and ruin. Any survivors eventually evolve into… birds and never put their feet on the ground again.
COMPU-TEACH:
Excellent! End of Lesson. You may press the button.