Bah!
All that groundwork for a badge wasted. Now "sanwin" will have to be retired and the process begun anew.
As for the coloring book article, well, it was so uninteresting I didn't even attempt to read it. If you are going to do an El Reg April Fool you have to do some serious hot-button pressing in the headline to pull in the punters:
Apple Sue Fitbit in Wrist Tat Brickbat
or SCO Win Landmark Decision In IBM Linux Lawsuit
or Microsoft To Quietly Retire Windows 10: Replacement "Windows 20/20" O/S in Beta (Subtitle: New O/S To Feature native VR Integration via Windows RealWorld(tm) SDK).
And have you considered that the Royal Mint is possibly setting the whole nation, nay the world up for the most awesome April Fool of 2017?
Biting the hand that feeds IT
