Reply to post: Anyone with truly higher level consciousness...

Machismo is ruining the tech industry for all of us. Equally

A Ghost

Anyone with truly higher level consciousness...

... knows that asking questions, be it for reinforcement of one's own knowledge, or to fill gaps in one's knowledge, is a 'higher level consciousness' thing to do.


I happen to have 'higher level consciousness'. It's pretty rare. Even among the truly gifted and intelligent - people with 150 IQs can be pretty dumb sometimes, and people who are thick as two short planks can startle you with deep insight and original intellect - true thinkers (even though they are 'dumb') who can work (some) things out for themselves.

Obviously to work in tech, you have to have 'higher intelligence' - higher the better, but it does not follow that the most intelligent are the most conscious. Hence the preponderance of ASD in tech. It would be insulting to say this if it were not true in today's PC radical feminist take offence at everything brave new world dystopia, we now find ourselves in. But you know it, coz you work there, and I know it, coz I'm on the spectrum myself.

There is an inherent paradox with what I just said in that last paragraph. Yes, I did infer that the most intelligent might possibly be on the spectrum themselves, and therefore be lacking in the consciousness department. I think that is true for the most extreme cases, all the way up to idiot savant which is very rare I know. I don't have enough experience in the IT workplace to propound any further. And there is the paradox that even though I am a 'bit autistic', I have a higher consciousness than those who are much cleverer than me, be they on the spectrum or not. I have an uncanny ability to read some people's minds and see straight through them, even in a room full of NT (neurotypical) people, who they have totally fooled. So consciousness can trump intelligence sometimes.

What do I mean by 'higher consciousness'? Simply that I can see things others can not see, be that stuff that is right in front of them, or hidden from them, no matter how intelligent or intellectual they are. I am able to hold not just opposing viewpoints on a range of subjects, but positive/negative viewpoints also. I am even able to go 'quantum' sometimes and believe that something is both 'right' and 'wrong' at the same time, whilst neither being 'right' or 'wrong' at all. I don't know enough about quantum computing and qubits, but I believe this is essentially what is going on there.

Most people can not do this. They see it as a sign of madness or schizophrenia, or being dumb or weak willed (ironically). Even those that can hold opposing viewpoints, can not go 'quantum' - there in lies insanity for them. But one man's insanity, is another man's higher consciousness. Sorry can't explain it better than that. But next time you come across someone who you think is dumb, no matter how clever you are, remember that their brain might be able to entertain concepts you never dreamed of in your wildest philosophies. I was recently reading an article on intelligence (a major subject for me), and they said that people with IQs that differ by more than 30 points (or something) either way, be it up or down, tend to view the other person as having some kind of mental disorder.

I have struck up conversations in pubs with people and got along great, until I try to explain one of these concepts, and the other person has said: You are a schizo! Get away from me...

I can assure you that I am not and have never been 'schizo'. Another word for the reaction of these people is 'cognitive dissonance'. Just does not compute, so their brains meltdown (yes even neurotypical people have meltdowns) and they hurl abuse. Because often in the world of neurotypical people, violence and the threat of violence is a daily staple that lubricates social exchange. Might is right. It works. No one can argue with that.

I am not clever enough to work in tech. I'm too stupid. Just a fact of life. I studied for years on and off to learn computer programming, only to find at the end of it that I just couldn't do it, well, WELL. Don't get me wrong, if you met me at a party you'd be my new best friend if you told me that you work on compiler optimisation techniques, or that you do Ring '0' stuff, or that your speciality is the STL in C++ - I'd be absolutely fascinated and buy you a drink. You'd be far more interesting to me than a Rock Star, or CEO - you would be someone that 'does something'. Something interesting.

I've hung around with rock stars and famous people as well as people from all walks of life, and I would be missing nothing by talking to you rather than them. To me, YOU would be the true Rock Star in the room, not them. Just like how the programmers that make the new audio software of today are the true rock stars of the scene. They are held in higher regard by the musicians, than they themselves hold the musicians (then again who can blame them).

People that know me are totally unable to fathom the fact that I am 'just not clever enough' to work in tech. They think I am taking the piss. They see an auto-didactic wizard in front of them, and their cognitive dissonance is too high.

It's lonely at the top of the consciousness tree. To actually understand people and know what is going on in the world today. Most people haven't got a clue about who they are, about the world they live in. It is actually painful, to the point I am researching suicide methods. I do this because this world holds nothing for me but pain on most days of the week. I've been suffering quite badly the last years and it has become unbearable. So I will do the logical thing. It's a long term project, but I estimate it is probably about another few years away to fruition.

I digress. But hopefully I have made the point, blahing on about 'oh, I have higher consciousness, man', that I am not some kind of drunken drug addled hippy (nowt wrong with that either) who thinks he knows it all, through nothing else other than sheer solipsism. Having higher consciousness means being totally aware of your weaknesses. The things inside you that you can never change, because it's you. You might realise you are a coward. You might realise that you have a sadistic streak and enjoy inflicting pain on defenseless creatures. It could be anything. Jung was right: The process of individuation is a very painful thing. You might find things out about yourself that you don't like.

But in that pain and torment, you discover the things that you can change, about yourself. You are able to take the full force of an ego blow, because your 'facade' has already been destroyed. You are no man. You are every man. You are able to deal with subjects non-emotively. As opposed to Ledswinger's comment about 'getting the wrong end of the stick' with emails. You should try posting on an audio forum. It only takes less than three pages before painful insults are hurled willy nilly at perceived slights given by others. It's a jungle out there. And a mine field.

So yes, here we are. Macho culture and machismo in the work place. Not really. Just fear. Lack of understanding. Lack of consciousness. Lack of doing 'the work'. Some men are born to enlightenment, others have it thrust upon them. I am the latter. I just wanted to be an average jo, doing average things, but I was cast out by society, sent into the wilderness, and here I am, after years of shunning, the shamen at the edge of the village, the outlaw, the hermit...

I would give anything to have a proper job. To be normal. To have contact with other human beings that share my ideas. I've done a lot of voluntary work for small software houses (one man shows), from writing of documentation, to beta-testing, to designing of GUIs, to marketing of the product. It would be great to get paid for that and do it for real. I can't see me ever fitting in in the workplace where neurotypical politics reigns supreme. Having said that, autistic people drive me up the wall. It depends on the person, and it can be funny sometimes, but it's bloody hard work.

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