Yea, call me when they figure out how to keep the hair on my head from moving to my chest and my back.
DRAM, it feels good to be a gangsta: Only Intel flash revenues on the rise after brutal quarter
Go, go, Gadgets Boy! 'Influencer' testing 5G for Vodafone finds it to be slower than 4G
Google emits a beta of Cloud Service Platform to entice hold-outs with hybrid goodness
Huawei hasn't yet fixed its security vulns, says UK's NCSC overseers
There's no 'My' in Office, Microsoft insists with new productivity hub
Profs prep promising privacy-protecting proxy program... Yes, it is possible to build client-server code that safeguards personal info
Chrome ad, content blockers beg Google: Don't execute our code! Wait, no, do execute our code – just don't kill us!
Germany, US staffers to be hit hardest as SAP starts shedding 4,400 bodies
Data breach rumours abound as UK Labour Party locks down access to member databases
Welcome to the sunlit uplands of HTTP/2, where a naughty request can send Microsoft's IIS into a spin
Bored bloke takes control of British Army 'psyops' unit's Twitter
Check yo self before you HyperWreck yo self: Cisco fixes gimme-root holes in HyperFlex, plus more security bugs
Northern UK smart meter rollout is too slow, snarls MPs' committee
UK.gov pens Carillion-proofing playbook: Let's run pilots of work before we outsource it, check firms' finances
OK, your boss allegedly called you a lazy n*****, promoted the person you trained ahead of you and paid you less, but you can't PROVE it's racism, Facebook says
What's in a name? Quite a bit when it's the most hated acronym of 2018
Samsung pulls sheets off costly phone-cum-fondleslab Galaxy Fold – and a hefty 5G monster
The bigger they are, the harder they fall: Peak smartphone hits Apple, Samsung the worst
Secret mic in Nest gear wasn't supposed to be a secret, says Google, we just forgot to tell anyone
U wot, m8? OMG SMS is back from dead
NASA boffins show Moon water supply could – er, this can't be right? – come from the Sun
How do you solve a problem like Galileo? With a strap-on L-band payload, of course!
Oldest white dwarf star catches amateur's eye – and its dusty ring leaves boffins baffled
Visited the Grand Canyon since 2000? You'll have great photos – and maybe a teensy bit of unwanted radiation
Fool ML once, shame on you. Fool ML twice, shame on... the AI dev? If you can hoodwink one model, you may be able to trick many more
Europe-style 5G standards testing? Consistent definitions? Who the fsck wants that, asks US mobe industry
Just do IoT? We'd walk a mile in someone else's Nike smart sneakers, but they seem to be 'bricked'
Want to create fake web profile pics? This creepy AI tool makes them on demand. Plus predictive policing, and more
No yoke: 'Bored' Aussie test pilot passes time in the cockpit by drawing massive knobs in the air
'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin
You know the drill: SAP has asked Joe Public to name Munich arena so go forth and be very silly
Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin
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Secret mic in Nest gear wasn't supposed to be a secret, says Google, we just forgot to tell anyone
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Germany tells America to verpissen off over Huawei 5G cyber-Sicherheitsbedenken
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WWW = Woeful, er, winternet wendering? CERN browser rebuilt after 30 years barely recognizes modern web
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Unearthed emails could be smoking gun in epic GDPR battle: Google, adtech giants 'know they break Euro privacy law'
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Password managers may leave your online crown jewels 'exposed in RAM' to malware – but hey, they're still better than the alternative
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