Re: paper paper paper
*"...the vast majority of our paper supply seems to sit as uncollected printouts around the printers..."*
That will be from the people who think the best way to clear a printer problem that's causing jobs not to print, is to stay at their desk and keep sending the job through over and over again until it works—usually because, in the meantime someone else has gone and sorted the printer out— whereupon 57 copies of <whatever it was> will start spewing forth [and probably jam the printer again]
At a college where I used to work, the students were also a great source of tree decimation:
The larger the swathe of Wikipedia they printed out as part of their "research" into someone and then pasted into their sketchbooks, the deeper they seemed to think they had "researched" that subject. A lot of the time, when questioned, it was apparent they hadn't even read what they'd printed out. The mere fact of having sent several pages from Wikipedia to printer apparently sufficed as "research".
Biting the hand that feeds IT
