Architecturizing strategic alternatives for maximizing value
"As both shareholders and employees, all of us here at Yahoo want to return this iconic company to greatness. We can best achieve this by working with the committee to pursue various strategic alternatives while, in parallel, aggressively executing our strategic plan to strengthen our growth businesses and improve efficiency and profitability."
I've got an idea: bullshit-as-a-service! Just create a web interface to the bullshit generator they already use internally to generate these blurbs. Think how much other companies could save in PR fees!