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HP slaps dress code on R&D geeks: Bin that T-shirt, put on this tie

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I consider myself Manager 2.0 (soon to be 2.1), so when I'm hiring, I don't bother with a job spec: I just specify the number of people I want but in abstract terms: "I have as many vacancies as there are petals upon the wind", or, "a vacancy is but a gap in the breeze of life, filled with the essence of longing."

The job "interview" consists of a single utterance from me: "hey?", but I don't need to listen to the replies, judging people purely on what they're wearing, how loud they speak and how many long words they use. The better the label, the louder the voice, the longer the words, the better the candidate.

I then hire a random amount of the group, so avoiding the unlucky ones, and then delegate the onboarding and other trivialities to my subordinates. I leave my Hire Space at around 1.30pm, and 'think outside box-wise' in a bar for the rest of the day.

That's how I'm going to transform HP.

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