The horror, the horror
I think CAMR(e)B needs to be set up before it's too late.
WTF is it with some veggies? If you don't want to eat meat, don't eat meat and accept the consequences. It's not like vegetarian food is tasteless if you know how to cook - I'm a total omnivore (snake, anyone?) but can easily cook stuff my veggie friends love. (Don't get me started on vegans though).
If you want to eat something that tastes like bacon, eat *bacon*, not some godawful ersatz crap.