If this had been published on April 1 there's no way I'd ever believe it. As is....I'm still not sure I believe it. 20 cars and a helicopter seems an excessive response to what is, after all, one of the more docile animals you can encounter on a farm. Frankly a big turkey is more dangerous than a cow under most circumstances.
Cloud vendors burp after last year's server sales feast, couldn't possibly eat any more
Still in preview, but look! You can now develop Azure Sphere apps in Linux – if you dare
Ohhh, you're so rugged! Microsoft swoons at new Lenovo box pushing Azure to the edge
BOFH: I'd like introduce you to a groovy little web log I call 'That's Boss'
WebAssembly gets nod from W3C and, most likely, an embrace from cryptojackers online
If you want an example of how user concerns do not drive software development, check out this Google-backed API
Windows 10 Insiders: Begone, foul Store version of Notepad!
Microsoft emits long-term support .NET Core 3.1, Visual Studio 16.4
OpenBSD bugs, Microsoft's bad update, a new Nork hacking crew, and more
China fires up 'Great Cannon' denial-of-service blaster, points it toward Hong Kong
Reasons to be fearful 2020: Smishing, public Wi-Fi, deepfakes... and all the usual suspects
SANS Announces 13th Holiday Hack Challenge and 2nd KringleCon infosec conference
Continuous Lifecycle London blind bird offer takes off soon: Book your place today at our DevOps conference
Hey kids! Forget about Disney – who fancies a trip to DevOps World?
CloudBees SaaSifies Jenkins X running on Google Cloud Platform
Watch next month: Don’t get bogged down by multi-cloud complexity. Help is at hand
FTC kicks feet through ash pile that once was Cambridge Analytica with belated verdict
Ireland's B.ICONIC snaffles Stormfront to become largest Apple reseller in the UK
Listen up you bunch of bankers. Here are some pointers for less crap IT
Onestream slammed for 'slamming' vulnerable and elderly folk: That's £35k to Ofcom, please
Elon Musk gets thumbs up from jury for use of 'pedo guy' in cave diver defamation lawsuit
Samsung Galaxy S11 tipped to escalate the phone cam arms race with 108MP sensor
Nokia 2.3: HMD flings out €109 budget 'droid with a 2-day battery
Apple: Mysterious iPhone 11 location pings were because of 'ultra-wideband compliance'
Forget sharks with lasers, NASA kits out an elephant seal with a sensor-studded skullcap
Asteroid Bennu is flinging particles of dust and rock from its surface – and scientists can't work out why
We know this sounds weird but in future we could ask fiber optic cables: Did the earth move for you... literally?
We're not trying to be rude here but... there's an ice giant stripping down, emitting gas as it orbits a hot white dwarf
DeepMind founder behind NHS data slurp to be beamed up to Google mothership
You looking for an AI project? You love Lego? Look no further than this Reg reader's machine-learning Lego sorter
In a touching tribute to its $800m-ish antitrust fine, Qualcomm tears wraps off Snapdragon 865 chip for 5G phones
Amazon sticks AI inference chip up for rent in the cloud for machine-learning geeks
Brian Eno's latest composition: A giant Christmas card with Julian Assange on it
Christmas in tatters for Nottinghamshire tots after mayor tells them Santa's too busy
In Rust We Trust: Stob gets behind the latest language craze
Irish eyes aren't smiling after govt blows €1m on mega-printer too big for parliament's doors
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Atlassian scrambles to fix zero-day security hole accidentally disclosed on Twitter
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Since the FCC won't act, Congress finally moves on robocalls by passing half-decent TRACED Act
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We strained our eyes with Lenovo's monster monitor: 43.4 inches for price of five 24" screens
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Den Automation raised millions to 'reinvent' the light switch. Now it's lights out for startup
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Newly born Firefox 71 emerges from its den – with its own VPN and some privacy tricks
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