Armed response in Northumbria?
Why do they have really wild ducks up there?
Oh wait, the cow must have been a mooslim extremist!
I have helped on horseback to round up semi wild range cattle in Utah, the only guns needed were for rattlesnakes.
I bet that cow was the first chance the plod had ever had to shoot anything that wasn't paper.
My mate's 5 year old daughter used to lead his bull (named Bruno) and sit talking to him, perhaps she could do some training courses for them. Bunch o' townies!