"The iPad only has the one port (and a 3.5mm audio) and that seems to be considered acceptable."
That's all it is no big deal and not worth two pages of whinging. It's a tablet with a keyboard that runs OSX. For people who would like to type on a proper keyboard and use a mouse but need no more than a laptop. For most general mobile stuff it won't need anything plugging in.
The article seems to be written by yet another one of those people who believes that their own personal requirements apply universally.
As for the watch, it's just Apple getting in on the game. Competitors are already doing them and selling loads of them. I find the smartwatch incredibly useful, I appreciate that some people don't get it but an open mind is not really that hard to keep.
I wouldn't want the apple version of a smartwatch though,when there are cheaper, better ones.