I surely can't be the only person who has a household like this?
You're not alone. The old "desktop is dead" mantra is from two things:
1 - The growth of the desktop (and laptop) market is slowing. A small part of it might be due to tablets replacing desktop for some activities, or it could just be because there is no reason to buy a new computer (they're all capable as they were 5 years ago), or we've spent our "computer fund" on a tablet instead.
2 - As a platform, the desktop is becoming less popular in favour of the web.