Actually, I knew my comment was going to be interpreted for the obvious, and not so good, joke, but it is serious question.
What has Apple's pile of cash got to do with the the article? Nothing at all, but the AC was so distressed at the idea of Apple losing in some metric that he had to come up with a metric in which they could still come ahead to compensate for the loss.
Why? Well, no rational reason but then, we humans are barely rational at the best of times, you may think you are an exception, but if you do, you are deluding yourself.
Seriously, you are deluding yourself, accept it and you have a chance of not falling for your biases all the time.