Having bought a Windows 8.1 laptop with a touch screen a few months ago I can honestly say I detest Windows 8.1. I've used every Microsoft operating system since the early days of DOS. Even after downloading a third party start button and applying all the patches and "upgrades" it is still the user interface from hell.
Windows 8.1 update has now imploded too. It gives a dumb error message about being unable to get any updates - but every time I turn the computer on it badgers me that there are updates available. I've had no luck attempting to repair the updater - system restore hasn't fixed it. Microsoft's Windows update repair tool claims to have found and fixed problems but Windows update is still dead in the water. Online help is less than helpful to solve the problem and various people suggest completely different solutions, none of which work. So it is now becoming unsafe to use the computer online as it is not patching itself and is thus at risk from malware.
So my new Windows 8.1 laptop is now effectively at the end of its "useful" life after only a few months!
My solution... I'm going to delete Windows 8.1 and install Kubuntu. Microsoft can shove Windows 8.1 and (Windows 9 when it comes out) where the sun doesn't shine. I'm finally done with Microsoft's crappy operating systems.