back to article Bank scorched by stupid Facebook policy

Instead of crafting a social media policy that threatens staff with termination over what they say on social media sites, the Commonwealth Bank of Australia could consider mass-sacking the claque of lawyers, human resources professionals and social media experts that brought down a media firestorm on the financial giant. For …

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  1. Charlie van Becelaere
    FAIL

    Wachunda

    "If any CBA executive thought a Facebook gripe with an audience of a few hundred people should be considered a sacking offence, what does he or she now think of a high-profile news story that bespatters its brand with mud in front of millions?"

    I think you've missed the point here. This (rhetorical) question presumes that these "people" actually think.

  2. John H Woods Silver badge

    CBA ...

    ... usually means something else on Facebook, if I am not very much mistaken.

    1. The Beer Monster
      Coat

      CBA?

      I'd look that up on one of those acronym finders but quite frankly I can't be ar...

      Oh, hang on.

  3. Darryl

    I want to know

    What was the bank going to do with the information that one of your friends didn't like the bank? A late night visit from Rocco and Guido to 'reeducate' them?

    And even with all of this horrible publicity, I'll bet the lawyers and HR drones will still get substantial bonuses this year.

  4. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    The beatings will continue until morale improves

    I thought aussies were less stupid than this - well not the politicians obviously - but I thought the average Bruce that ran the place.

    1. Goat Jam

      Um, no

      I will have you know that our Executards are every bit as obnoxious, greedy, incompetent, deceitful, insane, controlling, grossly overpaid and responsibility dodging as those in any other country.

      We're not just good at Cricket you know . . . . Oh, wait.

    2. Richard Taylor 2
      Happy

      Bruce

      Actually Sheila uns it

    3. CD001

      Free your hate

      ^ KMFDM ^

  5. Goat Jam
    Pirate

    Oh yes.

    I can just imagine the seemingly endless rounds of meetings between those jobsworth arseholes as they sat around scarfing espresso and muffins all eager to add their own little draconian piece to the worker oppression pie.

    The author is dead correct. If some Neville posting a minor snipe on Facebook is considered a "career limiting offence" then where does this thermonuclear shit explosion sit on the scale of "things to be sacked for"?

    Of course we all know the answer to that, don't we. The control freak dingbats who came up with this insane policy will be unlucky if they even receive a slap on the wrist.

    1. Fluffykins Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      thermonuclear shit explosion

      A nice wireless keyboard, please.

  6. FozzyBear
    Troll

    Title required

    If any CBA executive thought a Facebook gripe with an audience of a few hundred people should be considered a sacking offence, what does he or she now think of a high-profile news story that bespatters its brand with mud in front of millions

    Couldn't have sadi it better myself.

    Firstly this gives every employee there a valid excuse to be sitting in their own drool while they fondle through faceslap

    I do have another insight though. In my experience nothing causes more problems, chaos and havoc within in organisation than following their ?official" procedures and policies. The studpier the policy the more chaos it will cause and the added benefit is that the chaos tends to settle in the middle of the oxyogen thieves of (which are) the HR department

    1. Intractable Potsherd

      This is a serious question ...

      ... does anyone have any good experiences of HR? I certainly don't, and I've been involved with many organisations over the years. I have come to the conclusion that HR (management, at least) is the final resting place of people who cannot actually *do* anything: adapting the old adage, it seems to be "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who can't teach, research; those who can't research go into the government; and those who can't get into government go into human resources management".

      Oh, and what was wrong with calling them "the Personnel Department". I am not a f****ing "Human Resource", and I don't know any. Perhaps changing the name to something less depersonalising would focus their minds on what they are supposed to do.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Tbh,

        The best HR is the ones you dont notice. In a way, its a bit like IT support, if their doing their job really well, you should rarely even notice their even there.

        The problem is, those HR management types, who feel the need to get noticed so they can get promoted.

        We had a really good HR deparment at the last place i worked at. Occasionally, forms appeared on your desk when you asked for them, If you wanted to know about company benefits, you could just walk in and ask them, but on the whole, they stayed out of the way and let people do their jobs and made sure your pay went in on time and correct, did all the paperwork the government requires and so on.

        Of course, the place i'm working at now is totally different. Especially at the moment.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        the personnel dept

        long, long ago, if a company were large enough to keep the bookkeepers busy all week making up pay packets, it might have a wages office. The rot started when the Wages Office got called the personnel dept.

  7. mhoulden
    FAIL

    Oops

    I think a case study of the Streisand Effect should be required reading for anyone taking a law degree.

  8. Mark 65

    Where does the law stand?

    After all you can right anything you like into a contract or terms & conditions but it normally has to be considered reasonable in the eyes of the law. This smacks of Streisand effect and serves them right for being an utterly shite pack of thieving bastards (in my opinion).

  9. Dazed and Confused

    sounds like

    > the claque of lawyers, human resources professionals and social media experts

    Sounds like a good candidate for a list of those who'll be first against the wall come the revolution.(c)

    (c) the encyclopaedia glalactica

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      In absence of impending revolution

      Ideal candidates for the Golgafrincham 'B' ark.

  10. Christoph
    Pirate

    I don't think they thought that through

    "the staffer was required to delete the remark and report it to the bank."

    So if someone were to locate the facebook page of a staffer and post lurid (but carefully not libellous) insults about the upper managers of the bank, said staffer would be required to report all those insults in detail to the managers? Every time it happened?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Absolutely!

      I think the policy requires every CBA employee with a facebook account to drop whatever else they are doing and assiduously monitor facebook to catch such messages straight away. Facebook is on 24x7.

      Furthermore I think the CBA should also issue clear guidelines to staff to educate them in recognising comments which should be deleted. Maybe prepare and run some courses in this. Perhaps build this in to the employees' annual performance metrics too, just to be sure.

    2. Wibble
      Happy

      The possibilities are endless...

      Email to head of HR... "you're a useless fuckwit oxygen thief who wouldn't know a well thought through policy if it beat you with it's soggy end. According to an anonymous poster in an obscure forum.".

      And then sue for unfair dismissal for following a direct order. What a way to resign:-)

  11. Fremma

    Familial restrictions

    It has always amused me how every UK company I have ever worked for has presented me with a "Company Policy" which sets out what I and my wife can't do in our spare time and, particularly, who she can't work for. I always smile, sign the paper and forget to mention it to her.

    In the ideal world I'd be boasting here about how I had never had that experience with an Antipodean company but, sadly, CBA have just spoiled my argument.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      The company says?

      Only one company I worked for attempted to regulate what I did in my spare time. I promptly marked up the appropriate passages in red, circulated the document to all the other contractors there and to my agency, and added a note wondering how the company would like to get on with only a few of its programmers still working there, the rest of us having left due to breach of contract conditions. The company backed down, quickly (and closed down slowly not long after).

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    CBA sucks

    My best friend works for them, the restrictions in place there are bullshit.

    Anonymous because I care about her job.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Fun game

    Read the article and replace every occurence of "the Commonwealth Bank of Australia" by "the regime of North Korea", and the article instantly feels mild and obvious.

    On 2nd thought, it's not fun, it's scary.

  14. adam.c

    I flagged this story to TheReg yesterday...

    And I think they missed one of the best bits - which is that the bank hired a "social marketing manager" a year ago.

    So presumably this wasn't a policy formulated by HR and lawyers who don't understand the InterWebs - it had input by an "expert"

    http://www.businessspectator.com.au/bs.nsf/Article/CBA-Facebook-Twitter-social-media-pd20110203-DPW35?OpenDocument&src=rot

  15. Winkypop Silver badge
    FAIL

    Which bank?

    This is just typical corporate dross written/decided by the know-nothings, usually qualified, usually in their mid 30s.

    Move along..

  16. BongoJoe
    Flame

    This reminds me...

    ..of the time when I worked for STC in North London.

    A part of my employment contract was that I wouldn't own nor read a certain book which, shall we say, dished the dirt on IT&T and any infringement of this would constitute a sacking offence.

    I think my book order went into WH Smiths the next day...

  17. OffBeatMammal

    CBA... don't make me laugh

    as a former CBA customer now much happier with a different bank who actually understand that the sheep prefer being fleeced if the shears are not quite so blunt I'm hardly surprised CBA tried something that dumb... and it failed. Seems to be their modus operandi

  18. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Blowback

    It's what you deserve when you start a sh!tstorm.

  19. chrisjw37
    Flame

    CBA = Tosser deluxe - now report me!

    OK, will someone report me now for claiming that CBA management are all serial masterbators?

    I'm sure my distant cousin will enjoy the flak.

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