back to article Wanted: 1 solution architect to fist bankers' asses

It's a cordial tip of the hat this morning to reader Simon Stahn, who has just been favoured with this employment opportunity by Jobserve: Jobserve banking job opportunity requiring the ability to "fist asses" Simon says he wasn't aware getting your hands dirty was a requirement in the banking sector, but then again ... ®

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. semprance

    something assets?

    I'm at a loss...

    1. Dave 64 Silver badge
      Headmaster

      I think it's meant to read...

      "...first assist..."

    2. Pete Wood

      @semprance

      => I'm at a loss...

      "first assess", perhaps...?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "first assess"

      at a guess

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      something assets?

      It's meant to be "first assess".

  2. lansalot
    Go

    oooh..

    Sounds like a nail-biting opportunity.... or maybe not...

    1. Mike Smith
      Coat

      aaahh

      More like a pillow-biting opportunity...

  3. Gilleain Torrance
    Happy

    might not be a misprint

    It could just be the usual macho talk used in the City - you know, like "C'mon Jones, we gotta fist some asses today or we're sunk!".

    Seriously, I overheard a guy on his phone in a coffee shop once who actually said "...well, I don't want to get gang-raped on this one, you know?...". Because just 'raped' is too tame a metaphor for some people.

  4. Ian Stephenson
    Thumb Up

    probably "first assess"

    but much funnier this way.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Merchant Bankers

    I'm guessing it should have read "First Assess", but the misprint is far funnier

  6. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Spellchecker fail

    "First assess".

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Headmaster

      Sir

      Don't you mean a grammar fail? Fist is a valid spelling after all :)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sounds like a job for

    a vet, not a banker.

  8. Bilgepipe
    Thumb Up

    What goes around comes around

    Well the banks have done as much to the rest of us, it's about time they received some payback...

  9. jelly
    Pirate

    Gloves, camera, action

    After the last screw over, with pleasure, no lube, show me where to sign up!

    1. Elmer Phud

      Far Too kind

      What you need Is one of them gloves as worn by competitors in RollerBall.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    A niche bank perhaps?

    Going for the "perv pound".

  11. U4eA
    Welcome

    New world order?

    I, for one, welcome our banker ass fisting overlords etc etc..

    Or perhaps I should just reach for my coat.

  12. g e

    About time too!

    Perhaps this forms the first 'thrust' of the Wikileaks banking mega-leak?

    Not long before wikileaks truth-rapes someone in banking, now

  13. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    Brings a whole new meaning to...

    ... Take your job and shove it!!

    1. dssf

      Part of the song lyrics are:

      "TAKE THIS JOB AND *shove it* - I AIN'T COMIN' HERE NO MORE"...

      More all of diss story: make no assiduous ass sump shuns about on-the-job ass suss mints...

  14. Graham Bartlett

    Cue Julian Clary

    As JC said: "I've just been fisting Norman Lamont. Talk about a red box..."

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    But overall...

    A surprising lack of spelling mistakes and other errors compared to the average recruiter output, although there's still a lot to pick over.

  16. LinkOfHyrule
    Thumb Up

    Fists, I mean thumbs up!

    Someone got their job advert and their dating advert mixed-up didnt they! They'll be some random ad on some hook-up website asking for a well hung dominant solution architect - if he's not careful that terminology will spread and he's just invented some new sex slang!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    I don't believe it...

    The site has been "corrected", but the spelling is incorrect.

    "first asses"

    It's almost as funny :D

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    site updated - still wong

    clicking on the link provided takes you to see that the ad now says 'first asses'.

    I think it should have said 'assist'.

    By the way, when i clicked on the link I found I was logged in as someone else, So I logged him or her out.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bloody shit!

    I'll be buggered if I can remember the last time the happened.

This topic is closed for new posts.