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back to article Lindsay Lohan looks to CCTV saviour in hand to hand battery case

Lindsay Lohan's latest stint in rehab has hit an unseasonal bout of discomfort and joylessness after she was accused of attacking one of the workers at the Betty Ford Centre. Lohan has vehemently denied the reports on gossip website TMZ, saying that the facility's inhouse surveillance cameras will prove her innocence. The dry …

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  1. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    I asked a colleague to pass me a pack of Duracell "AA"s....

    ......he was just out of reach so he chucked it across.

    I got hit with a hand to hand battery case.......

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  2. some vaguely opinionated bloke
    Joke

    Pardon the punnage, but...

    "the cops... investigate alleged "hand to hand battery" which included Lohan tossing a phone at the staffer."

    Shirley that would be "mobile phone battery"?

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    1. Blofeld's Cat
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      So...

      Did the cops tell her she was NiCd?

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      1. some vaguely opinionated bloke
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        If she *was* sober...

        ... it would be quite a volt(e) face...

        but if she was drunk again, it would definitely ampere her case. She might end up crying to her mAh...

        Is a gay mobile battery a homoNiMH, or does it just sound the same?

        I'll stop now.

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  3. Blofeld's Cat
    Coat

    I wasn't drunk, I was getting my hair done

    I don't think the two are mutually incompatible.

    Some hair styles (e.g. the I'm-not-really-bald ponytail) must surely involve either the stylist, their customer, or both being very drunk indeed.

    Just a trim-and-a-polish please.

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    1. Mediocrates
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      A Sober Response

      "Some hair styles (e.g. the I'm-not-really-bald ponytail) must surely involve either the stylist, their customer, or both being very drunk indeed."

      Nah, the I'm-not-really-bald ponytail is just a combover with a twist.

      Mine's the one with the leaky bottle of Rogaine...

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  4. Law
    Paris Hilton

    Not so!

    "Which would be nice, as it's a while since we've been able to enjoy the delights of Lindsay on screen."

    She's in Machete! Playing a druggy slut with more money than sense...... I assume she had lots of life experience to draw on for this particular role.

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  5. J-Wick
    Thumb Up

    I still would.

    That is all. :)

    3 1
  6. Alan Esworthy
    IT Angle

    meh

    repeat: meh

    1 0
  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe she doesn't remember correctly.

    Ah, the drunken black out biatch.

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