Jobsian fondle-slab in SEXY FILTHGRAM CRACKDOWN Famous fruitbrand fondle-slabbery firm Apple is moving to further bolster family values and hierarchical, authoritarian control - not to mention other rightwing American values such as abstinence from youthful or otherwise unapproved sexy sexuality - by the use of a traditional instrument of The Man's dominance: the US Patent …
Cockbush Avenue in Hertford, UK
Cum Cum Hill at Little Berkhampstead, Herts
The latter was removed for a while after a posh new golf club opened at the top of it. However, it's loss was clearly mourned as the sign re-appeared about a year later. Raised a little cheer in our car as we drove past.
I guess any golf club member with a iPhone will be getting lost shortly then.
The US patent office will allow a patent on anything won't they!
A patent is only supposed to be granted on a new innovation which isn't blatantly obvious.
Content word filtering is hardly new. There may even be prior art on this exact use. I'm sure somewhere like a right wing Arab state or China have been doing this for years.
Steve Evans writes: "Jeeez The US patent office will allow a patent on anything won't they!"
I would like to patent a device that can automatically generate a patent that the US patent office will reject. Provided that such a device/software/buisness method is granted a patent -- and I'm unaware of prior art, nor do I think such a device is obvious to practicioners of the art -- then I think I can then diagonalize (after Georg Cantor) the US patent office, and we will never hear from them again.
Someone, somewhere (in fact, here at El Reg, I think) speculated, tongue-in-cheek, that Apple was patenting the wheel, Beethoven, air, etc., to shine light on the absurdity of the U. S. patent system. I'm about half-willing to consider moving the tongue in this case to its normal position.
And if they aren't, this case and the many others like it should have that effect anyway, if some sufficiently prominent and respected voices can pipe up and cite them collectively in a suitably loud and blistering attack on the system.
(The film Patent Absurdity is a nice start, but I fear its audience is not getting very far beyond those who already understand the problem and don't need convincing.)
The US village of Intercourse: http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Intercourse_judge_in_nutty_condom_stunt
Sorry for the link to another rag but the reg missed this one (OK, so not I.T. related but amusing)
And yes, before correcting people you should really think about things. A veil of tears woudl kind of just drip down your front and not be very useful.
A vale of tears however being especially in context in the article since it is a biblical reference.
Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Not too far from Bird In Hand and Blue Ball! All three of which are located in Lancaster county of Amish fame.
There is actually a nice wine shoppe in the center of town. I know because my wife made me stop right in the middle of Intercourse and run in for a bottle!
(Mine's the one with the sneaky butler!)
Apple will run in to trouble with trades description legislation. A device the can't make a call because it keeps getting dropped and won't send your texts because Jobs doesn't like the words you've used doesn't sound like something you could reasonably call a 'mobile phone'.
If anyone out there is a scholar of Babylonian (i.e. sexagesimal) counting systems or navigational instruments (sextants) living in the county of West Sussex, they'd best stay clear of an iSlab.
The only people who would be content with such a self censoring device must be very boring indeed. Oh....!
So, Apple have finally developed a hypocorism- euphemism- and innuendo-filter as well as working out how to reliably detect naughty fleshtones in attached images?
It's alleged that what killed-off Betamax was that the VHS-people allowed their tech to be used for pr0n but the Betamaxists didn't. Part of me would like FruitCo to suffer the same fate. Perhaps Microsoft/Android/Windows7Phone should specifically offer apps like "Pr0nfinder Professional", "RateMyTodger" and "Nipple-Vu",
the Chamber of Commerce is flooding foreign money into the current US elections, the allegations are entirely unfounded. I specifically recall that at the time Betamax was competing with VHS, Beta had the better pr0n at the local rental shop. Three things killed Betamax:
1. All the copyrights owners licensed their stuff on VHS because Sony (wisely in my estimation) wouldn't let Macrovision on their systems.
2. Beta never extended their tape length past 2 hours
3. VHS were mass produced by more vendors and therefore were cheaper than Beta.
Sadly, item 1 turned out to be the real killer as only a minority of copyright holders also licensed to Beta.
I presume the Church of Job will force march every carrier of the symbol of the faith of Apple into the protected holy grounds, worldwide.
How will Jobs decide a colloquial expression, such as knock you up in the morning, is not offensive to certain believers in his faith?
Just another challenge for the Apple Crackers to display their talents on. Maybe this is the one that gets the U.S. Department of Justice up his nose.
Not sure if they've fixed it yet but on the US version of PS3 Home (a sort-of built in Second Life) censorship used to convert 'hello' to '****o'. And of course '****** takeaway' - half a billion people can't even name their nationality without Sony USA worrying that they really meant to say 'Native American'. Unbelievable. And of course you could still tell people to invoke a well known unix filesystem check. VVankers.
"Surely there's irony here for Bible-fancying readers in the sight of Apple Computer, whose brand is none other than a pomaceous fruit with a tell-tale bite taken from it - just such a one as Eve might have left behind her in the Garden of Eden - seeking to prevent the pure and innocent acquiring sinful and forbidden knowledge by by enhancing the authority of the Father* in this way.
*Or mother of course. Or differently-oriented familial leadership hierarchy of any type. Presumably. "
How very laudably PC, El Reg, for one's Monitor and Mentor in Peer Role Model Travel has many Attractive Addictive Active Surprises. :-) .... for Triple AAA Just dDesserts to Feed Source ITs Needs and Immaculate Desires.
Doesn't Steve Jobs know that Sex Sells? And what XSSXXXX Sells is Perfect Sin in a Vice Filled World. ....... with Incorrigible Veteran Perfumed Garden Skills to IntelAIgent Virgin Forest Units ..... for the Bigger Digital MasterPiece Picture Displays.
And one does realise that as filters behave evermore subjectively discriminatory will language and methodologies evolve and flower with a leading steganographic ambiguity and XSSXXXXual multiple entendre, doing battle and overwhelming simple text analysis. And creating as IT Shares it Offerings, a Stealthily Grown Invisible and Intangible Global Army of SMART Volunteers ...... XSSXXXXually HyperRadioProActive CyberIntelAIgents who in Real Time Space Studios and Live Operational Virtual Environments are Cast and/or Confronted to Support and Cavort as Nymph and Satyr to Deliver and Satisfy the Power in Control of a Mirroring and Gathering and Exploding of Passionate Insatiable Desire. With the Releases comes Cosmic Energy for the Few Aware, who may be many more than a just a few, given the Perfect Pleasure Delivered for Pumping and Pimping to Providers.
What about 'selecting a wholesome profession and encouraging their offspring to undertake it in order to learn the value of Caesar's currency and its purchasing power withal'?
Fucking kids, they don't even know they're born. Daddy, can I have a car? Daddy, can I have a computer? Daddy can I have a house? Whatever happened to the answer 'No: Go and get a job like I had to, and then you can choose what you buy with the money you have earned for yourself you sponging parasite'?
When I were a lad ... *whinging and griping fades into distance accompanied by the melody from Dvořák's New World Symphony, Movement 2 - Largo*
Raw Dykes Road, Leicester UK
This is really good news, because now nobody else can implement this technology without Apple dragging them to court. Even Apple doesn't seem to have implemented it, which is even better.
The Internet views censorship as network damage and routes around it.
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