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back to article German kiddies punted porn-projecting pens

Kids at the Adolf Reichwein School in Essen got an unexpected treat on the first day at primary school: porn-projecting pens provided by the German Communist Party. Reuters explains that six-year-old nippers normally get a cardboard cone packed with sweets to "sweeten" their induction, but were instead punted the pens which " …

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  1. LinkOfHyrule
    Joke

    There's so many jokes I could make about this...

    ...But i'll do a non rude one and say...

    Filthy "pen pushers" pedling their filth to kiddies! Something needs to be done about these "pushers"! It starts off with pens but can easily lead to pencils and magic markers!

    3 0
  2. LuMan
    Joke

    What??!!

    How many things are wrong here?? Firstly, the kids get goodies to make their first day sweeter (do the tax-payers fund this?). Secondly, they're getting sweets!! Well, that's dental and obesity covered! And finally the PTA will be the first people to get their hands on some freebie smut-pens.

    Christ, our country's nowhere NEAR as much fun as others!

    3 0
  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    pic?

    I want to see the offending pictures.

    0 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      @AC "I want to see the offending pictures"

      Alright. Here's one:

      http://www.derwesten.de/staedte/essen/Hinters-Rotlicht-gefuehrt-id3635244.html

      All in all pretty harmless.

      2 0
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Thumb Down

        So where is the pornography?

        If the images are like this, then why call it pornography? It's just a girl in a bikini.

        0 0
  4. Rainer
    Paris Hilton

    Pictures or it didn't happen

    'nuff said.

    1 0
  5. Fluffykins Silver badge

    The penis mightier than the sword

    Or so I think it's said.

    5 0
    1. elderlybloke
      Reply Icon
      Paris Hilton

      The penis mightier than the sword

      Fluffykins,

      Mine is longer than the sword, except on a cold day.

      0 0
  6. Anonymous John

    Letters and/or digits.

    The penis mightier than the sword.

    5 0
  7. John Lilburne

    WTF

    This is why I joined the Young Communist League back in the 1970s. They always had the best dope and best porn. The Young Socialists were far to much into student affairs, and the Trotskyites spent most of their time Vanguarding (though Gerry Healy was meant to have a bevvy of young girls).

    1 0
  8. Billy 7
    Headmaster

    What....

    ...on earth are the German authorities doing allowing political parties access to primary schools. Looks like the Hitler Youth is still alive and kicking.

    3 4
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Black Helicopters

      You're not one

      You're not one of those looney Mercans who think Hitler was a socialist are you?

      3 2
      1. Piers
        Reply Icon

        er...

        He was a National Socialist. Not sure this actually makes any difference - just saying.

        3 0
      2. Joe 3
        Reply Icon
        Joke

        But it must be true!

        <RIGHTWINGMERKIN>

        Hitler had to be a socialist! He called his party the National Socialist Workers' Party after all, and I'm sure Hitler would never have lied to gain support, right?

        </RIGHTWINGMERKIN>

        2 1
        1. Arctic fox
          Reply Icon

          Yeah, and strangely enough the very first people he started killing.......

          ........even before his bestial assault on the jews were in fact communists, sosialists and trades unionists.

          0 1
        2. Will Leamon
          Reply Icon

          Please allow this Merkin to clarify...

          Hitler was not a commie.

          There,,, fixed that for you.

          0 0
        3. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Anonymous Coward

          and the Communists?

          presumably you think the Soviet Union which also killed millions of people was also right-wring?

          0 0
          1. Arctic fox
            Reply Icon

            @and the communist.

            No that is not what anyone here has said. However certain "creative thinkers" in the US and the UK _are_ arguing that _all_ the big dictatorships from the 1930s were by definition leftwing. They appear to have a very deep need to be able to "prove" that it is by definition impossible to have a rightwing dictatorship.

            0 1
    2. Cameron Colley
      Reply Icon

      Hitler was not "right wing".

      In the US sense of the world this means neing against state regulation and being for a "capitalist", "democratic" society.

      It also means being pro-Christian and pro-guns for selfe defense.

      Or, to put it another way, Stalin and Tony Blair were closer to Hitler in their policies than George Bush.

      I hate them all, by the way, but I also hate it when people try to dispute that left wing policies can lead to dictatorships.

      1 0
      1. Arctic fox
        Reply Icon

        @CameronColley: Of course left wing politics can lead to dictatorship, however.......

        ......that is not what the "creative element" on the American and British rightwing are arguing. They are arguing that _all_ dictatorships are by definition leftwing. This of course leads them into certain intellectual difficulties - to say it politely.

        0 1
        1. synsci
          Reply Icon

          @Arctic fox

          well it is not a left vs. right issue which is why this whole discussion is a waste of time and you appear to be promoting this false dichotomy.

          It is a collectivist vs. non-collectivist issue. The Nazis and Communists were both collectivist ideology and it is this that often leads to pretty nasty dictatorships. The Nazis certainly had socialistic elements as well as many other influences. Do you deny this?

          0 0
  9. DavCrav
    Stop

    Wrong target

    "While the Commies' lawyers are investigating whether the vendors can be brought to book for smutmongery..."

    Erm... I would have thought it would be legal for the vendor to sell it to the Communist Party, but not for the Communist Party to give them to the children. But IANAL of course.

    Also, Communist Party = CP = child porn (although not the usual meaning...)

    2 1
  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What? Germany?

    "The German Communist Party deeply regrets what has happened and is outraged that this kind of thing, which borders on pornography, can be purchased in normal shops."

    This is a sensible country where the entirely normal act of sex is commonly shown on mainstream television including advertising. Don't tell me they're going all USAian?

    2 1
  11. Tigra 07
    Grenade

    A better present

    "While the Commies' lawyers are investigating whether the vendors can be brought to book for smutmongery, they've offered to replace the offending items with "something more suitable for children"

    Like a day trip to church?

    2 1
    1. JohnG
      Reply Icon

      Church?

      "Like a day trip to church?"

      A German by the name of Karl Marx wrote something along the lines of "Religion is the opium of the people"

      0 1
      1. Arctic fox
        Reply Icon

        That is indeed how it is usually translated into English but....

        I wonder whether Marx (in German) meant _opiate_, i.e. painkiller? That would be logical in the context of the role he believed that religion played in society.

        0 1
  12. Toastan Buttar
    Thumb Up

    Purchased at Pen Island?

    http://www.penisland.net/

    4 0
  13. Graham Wood

    New competition prize?

    So when is el-reg going to run a comp to win one of these pens?

    5 0
  14. Winkypop Silver badge
    WTF?

    Is that all...? (checks link)

    I've seen more revealing in a National Geographic at my Dentists...

    1 0
  15. blatny93

    Irony, anyone?

    The commies being the most puritanical bunch that ever was (excepting those roundheads!)?

    And yes Hitler was a founder of the National Socialist German Workers Party - there is no difference, either in consequence, or essence, between that and the commies. Anyone heard of Stalin's 'socialism in one country'!

    My moniker because Ivan Blatny was a great, mad (Czechoslovak) poet also hounded by the commies (he ended up in a London asylum - either hiding or mad or both, no one knows).

    1 1
    1. Daniel B.
      Reply Icon

      You broke my Sarcasm detector!

      I hope.

      Hitler went after the Commies, as anyone who has read about the Richstag fire and the NSDAP's rise to power should know. The party was called the "National Socialist" party, but it was actually a counter-socialist party to begin with, and with Hitler it became something truly evil.

      0 0
  16. Terry 6 Silver badge
    FAIL

    lazy

    Didn't the idle S*ds bother to look at what they were buying?

    Gives Commies a bad name!

    0 0
  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder

    What is the german commie party's official stance on porn? If they oppose it I'm betting this "accident" was rigged to get some outrage.

    0 0
  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    kinds of stores

    "...this kind of thing, which borders on pornography, can be purchased in normal shops."

    We demand that henceforth it be available only in unusual shops!

    0 0
  19. Tim Roberts 1

    Seems harmless enough.

    yes I looked at the link above - I'm sure my 14 year old son would love one to show his mates. Actually so would my 17 year old son ......

    0 0
  20. gimbal
    Pint

    How zany, Deutschland!

    Oh my. Maybe they shouldn't make so many purchase decisions over snuff and old lager.

    0 0
  21. Tim Bates

    Good lesson for the kids...

    They'll now have learned that if someone gives you something cool to make you feel better, some bastard will take it away if it turns out to be something better than it was supposed to be.

    0 0
  22. Lionel Baden
    FAIL

    Erotic !!

    This is hardly an issue considering you get people running around topless on terestrial TV at 11:00 AM

    This is somebody trying to kick up a stink so they can be famous :/

    1 0
  23. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Redfaced

    Are the east german communist now penofiles?

    0 0
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