Two words
Ball. Gag.
Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job
The Tyne and Wear woman earlier this year spared jail for breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from unnaturally loud sex has been cuffed after once again failing to put a sock in it. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was handed an eight-week sentence, suspended for 12 months, for three breaches of the order designed to protect …
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Monday 22nd March 2010 11:02 GMT Reading Your E-mail
Who's
Who's rights?
The two wanting to go for it or the poor sods who have to hear it.
I think you might want to read the article though, you seem to be getting confused with screaming their heads off and going at it like rabbits. The beak isn't telling her to turn into a nun, just to shut the hell up.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 14:07 GMT Joe 3
I hate to tell you this...
"I think you might want to read the article though, you seem to be getting confused with screaming their heads off and going at it like rabbits. The beak isn't telling her to turn into a nun, just to shut the hell up."
If you've never had the neighbours bang on the wall to complain about the noise, you're not doing it right!
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Monday 22nd March 2010 16:47 GMT gollux
Had one of those living next door...
It isn't as entertaining as you might think. The breach of human rights occurs in the surrounding houses. Yes, they can go get a pickup truck out in a cornfield where the wild monkey calls would be useful chasing away crows.
An old country remedy used to be a shotgun with a charge of rock salt...
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Monday 22nd March 2010 11:23 GMT Anonymous Coward
Screaming Out For...
...a home in the country.
At this point I think more punishment isn't helping (just making "it" naughtier) I think the state needs to step in and provide soundproofing advice. That said maybe the noise level isn't as bad as is being made out and the neighbours deserve the ASBO as this is a result of their only release being a tearful tug every quarter.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 13:06 GMT heyrick
What has become of the country...?
Back in 1990 we lived next to a nasty teenage harlet who appeared to have or want sex with anybody passing. She liked music so bad it probably doesn't even have a genre. When we asked, politely, if it could be turns down a little, she turned the speakers to the wall, the audio right up, then went out leaving it playing the same song on repeat.
Of course we seeked advice. And our remedy? An official bloke with a sound meter came out and pointed it at the wall. Oh, an official bloke with a fancy car so if she saw the car she'd turn the music down, barely a blip on the sound meter, oh well, no infraction.
After numerous call-outs, and them no doubt thinking we're crazy, we suggested he park elsewhere and come in the back. Upon metering, he actually asked permission to put it on the bed and take a photo of it to be used in training, he'd never seen the thing register that much in a domestic situation.
And she got some sort of warning by letter. Apparently there was a massive complicated legal process to begin if she didn't heed the warning, which being a stroppy teenager was returned through our letterbox with something rather unpleasant written across it (and, haha, spelled wrongly!).
So we took an easier option. We moved.
.
Anyway, point is, is this based upon the allegation of the neighbours, or were measurements of these <cough>sessions actually taken? How loud is loud? And, just to kick around an idea for the hell of it, would it be more acceptable for a similar noise if it was, say, a brat with a drumkit or a PS3? Is the limit of acceptable going to be lower because it is sex?
And, looking the other way, WhoTF makes that kind of noise while in the act?
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Monday 22nd March 2010 13:36 GMT Tom 7
Heyrick - revenge is sweet
We had similar problems. They were eventually solved by retaliation.Transducers were attached to the adjoining wall when it went quiet next door an arythmic bass thumped through, we went out as it was generally day time.
Took 3 days for them to acquiesce - even teenage psychos need sleep.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 14:51 GMT Nerd King
anus
Don't even need to be that complicated. Just take one stereo with timer and well-chosen irritating CD, volume to the max, leave the house, let them suffer. Not that I did it deliberately to get evicted when I was trying to get out of a crappy tenancy agreement in a shared house.. not me sir.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 14:51 GMT lglethal
a few facts..
heyrick - if you look back through the archives in el reg you will find the original details. The facts were that they had people with sound meters out and measure the noise and apparently it was off the charts in a big way (i forget the exact figure), she received multiple warnings. and did nothing about it. So eventually an ASBO was applied, she fought it in the courts. She lost. She then broke said ASBO (a number of times) and so she was given a suspended sentence. Now shes broken that suspended sentence - so off she goes to prison. Kinda hard to argue with the legal process in that regard.
Oh and if i remember the description that one of her neighbours said it was something along the lines of she sounded like someone was being murdered by being cut up with a blunt knife! That would probably cause me to call the cops too!
I also have to say your opinion that the easy option was for you to move is not exactly an option in a lot of cases. If you own your house and some chav moves in next door - its not exactly easy to sell up and leave is it? If you actually really love the house and area you live in but for the neighbour - its a bit harsh to just get up and move isnt it? Or even if your just a renter most of the time you have a contract so you cant leave until after the contracts up - so not exactly an option if you discover in the first couple of months that youve got a pain in the *ss neighbour...
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Tuesday 23rd March 2010 00:23 GMT CapitalW
Reminds me of a neighbor of mine
I don't want to get off topic to stereos, but being a ham radio operator, while living in an apartment, a neighbor next to us liked to turn the volume up...whump, booom, whump, boooom, etc., I decided to try an experiment.
I got on the air and held a nice conversation with a friend. After the cheap CD player went into laser lock, I watched her take the stereo to her car. About a week later, I saw it return, and the loud music started again.
Once again, after laser lock during a conversation with a friend, the music stopped, and looking out the window a couple minutes later I saw the stereo go into the dumpster!
I normally operated when things were quiet, but with the (US) FCC Part 15 on my side, I wanted to have some fun - and revenge for sleepless nights. No, I never told her what was going on as I was never asked.......
BOOTNOTE: She got a better stereo with better speakers that didn't resonate so badly.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 14:08 GMT Jason Bloomberg
Evidence ?
Surely for committal proceedings there would have to be credible and verifiable evidence, not just the say so of neighbours who may have a grudge against this woman.
ASBO's are one of the nastiest legal devices ever invented, criminalising things which should never be criminal. Of course you don't go to jail for doing what someone doesn't like, you go to jail for breaking an ASBO which says you must not do what someone doesn't like. Clever and nasty - Just like the Home Secretary slapping Control Orders on otherwise not proven guilty people.
New Labour principles of justice sit better with the Taliban and dictatorships than in the civilised west.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 14:08 GMT Anonymous Coward
Wonderful, just wonderful.
The wonderful thing about ASBOs is that they dig up dirt that now has to be handled properly. So now you get reams of interesting questions that demand official positions justifyable in (higher) court and all that. Useful, no?
It doesn't appear to work very well though. Isn't that the essence of anti-social people being anti-social? How on earth did they think ASBOs were actually going to *help*?
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Monday 22nd March 2010 14:09 GMT The Other Steve
In this case ...
Thank you for not posting pictures, but those suggesting that she she should get a job in the sex industry might want to go and google some, although I warn you, you will wish you hadn't.
I suspect that the noise the neighbours can mostly hear is her hubby screaming "NO! OH GOD PLEASE NO! NOT AGAIN! NO!" not that he's exactly a looker himself.
Oh hell, go on, here http://www.sunderlandecho.com/news/Asbo-sex-romp-woman-loses.5810753.jp
don't say you weren't warned.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 22:02 GMT Sceptical Bastard
@ The Other Steve
We may have been warned - but it's still a pretty gruesome sight, wouldn't you say.
She may be no oil painting but her hubby looks like a (very) poor man's Bruce Willis. What either of 'em see in each other is beyond human understanding.
There are other equally disturbing images available to anyone with strong nerves and Google. I think her chances of starring in any grumble flick are about as good ss my dog's... oh, wait a minute...
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Monday 22nd March 2010 15:35 GMT Anonymous Coward
Co Incidence
Once heard this sort of racket while in a holiday cottage. (Lake district)We just lay back and enjoyed the neighbors two along, and tried to guess what they were doing (special!)
Next morning we were amused to see that the lady was an ex teacher of one of
our children. We said nothing, just smiled. The kids were not with us this time.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 16:45 GMT Anonymous Coward
Sadly, Mr Savard...
... Most Victorian terraces have thin walls. Friends of mine in a well-known and much-despised town inside the M25 have rowdy neighbours where I've been astonished to hear them (and my hearing is damaged thanks to some of my outdoor pursuits involving racing engines, as well as my enjoyment of clubs in my younger days).
Noise-proofing does not really work unless it is a somewhat thick material, and considering how narrow the stairs are in my friends' flat, I doubt the stairs next door are any wider. So who would you be holding responsible... my friends' landlord or the landlord next door? What if the ones next door own the place? Any suggestions then?
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Monday 22nd March 2010 22:02 GMT RW
It's involuntary
She's hardly doing this on purpose. I bet a jelly-filled donut that most of us have had sexual partners or known of people who at the critical moment let loose with the most amazing verbalizations. Some Buddhist sects believe that at the moment of orgasm, one gets a tiny taste of what enlightenment is like; is it any wonder that it inspires the autonomic nervous system to express itself freely?
And that, to me, seems to be an iron-clad defense. "Yes, your lordship, I farted long and loud, but even the emperor Claudius recognized that farting is an uncontrollable natural function which it is harmful to try to rein in." Mutatis mutandis, the same is true of coital ululations.
But underneath all this it's probably the neighbors being jealous of someone who clearly has a rich and satisfying sex life, unlike their own prematurely withered libidos.
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Monday 22nd March 2010 22:30 GMT Anonymous Coward
The judge said!
"He said steps such as closing windows, asking her husband to remind her to be quiet, and making efforts herself to tone down the noise could and should have been deployed."
So he can scream "shut the fuck up bitch" whilst giving her the good news so that she doesnt breach her ASBO!
I doubt "quiet dear" would work to well in that household!
Then the neighbours will be complaining that all they can hear is him telling her to shut up followed by the double slap of the cowboy whip action.
Paris - she deserves an ASBO for existing!
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Tuesday 23rd March 2010 09:53 GMT The Evil One
The neighbours have become sensitized now
Probably her sex is not now noisy enough to justify an ASBO but the niighbours have been sensitized and the ASBO has given the power to send this woman to prison whenever they like if they hear the slightest sound from her.
The ASBO law is an appalling law thought up by authoritarian politicians to harass the underclass.
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Tuesday 23rd March 2010 09:53 GMT The Evil One
The neighbours have become sensitised now
Probably her sex is not now noisy enough to justify an ASBO but the neighbours have been sensitised and the ASBO has given the power to send this woman to prison whenever they like if they hear the slightest sound from her.
The ASBO law is an appalling law thought up by authoritarian politicians to harass the underclass.
This topic is closed for new posts.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
