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back to article How chavvy is your town? Find out with the ASBOrometer

Just what you never knew you needed, the ASBOrometer, an app for iPhones and Android devices, which lets you know how many people with antisocial behaviour orders there are in your neighbourhood. Here is an application to make you feel lucky and superior or depressed about impending ghettofication, for which we thank Jeff …

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  1. Simon Pearce 1
    FAIL

    Newcastle-under-Lyme = 19.9%

    Very disappointed Newcastle-under-Lyme - must try harder ;)

    0 0
  2. Adrian Jones

    A tool for spotting people with ASBOS?

    You haven't read Charles Stross's Halting State then?

    0 0
  3. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    A modest proposal

    I propose we call the ousting of chavs a "chavvy chase" in honour of that renowned actor.

    0 0
  4. Feef Lovecraft
    FAIL

    Scotland

    0.0% for the whole of Scotland, nice.

    Oh wait you just don't collect data in that area.

    Oh well I'll just not use your app.

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ASBOs ... what a waste of time...

    "For how can you compete,

    Being honour bred, with one

    Who, were it proved he lies,

    Were neither shamed in his own

    Nor in his neighbours' eyes?"

    (Yeats)

    1 0
  6. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Application Error

    "Unable to parse JSON string at common.js (line 7)"

    "Error messages will only be displayed during development. When your app is packaged for final distribution, no error screen will appear. Test your code!"

    Oh dear :)

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  7. MarkOne
    Stop

    I want an app

    That tells me how many cretins there are in my town with iPhones.

    1 1
  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    An app for this?

    I'd never have guessed that my borough, Newham, would come top in such a prestigious contest. Really. These days it's known as "the olympic borough", or as the council keep on insisting in spite of all evidence to the contrary, "A place people choose to work and live", although an increasing number are choosing to work, live, socialise, be sick, or just go for a walk etc just about anywhere else they can manage; they tend to use less charitable slogans.

    But wait! There's more!! Guess which borough has the highest percentage of Labour councillors in the whole of the UK? And an avowedly NEW Labour executive Mayor? You guessed it - Newham! After the 1994 local elections it actually hit 100% when the solitary elected Lib Dem switched to Labour at the first post election council meeting. It's down a few now at 90 percent, the other 10percent being ex labour or Christian Peoples alliance. Newham is to Labour what Wandsworth was to the Tories.

    So... 47.9 percent have ASBOs. 90 percent of councillors are Labour. The mayor is very New Labour. The MPs are all Labour.

    I leave you to join the dots.

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  9. Bruno de Florence
    Happy

    Actually

    British gay men are very found of chavs (aka scallies) because of their bad boys attitude. Dress up as a chav and your Gaydar (a well known UK gay dating site) inbox will be flowing with invitations. There are even Gay scallies nights in various gay clubs up and down this country. So it seems this app kills 2 birds with 1 stone. If I could morally convince myself to give my cash to Apple and get an iJesusPhone, I would immediately get this app and go happy hunting!

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