back to article Women to 'chest drive' Bulgarian airbags

Women considering going under the knife to boost their assets are being offered the chance to "chest drive"* implants before committing to surgery. The Hospital Group explains that prior to popping in a pair of top-of-the-range Natrelle breast implants, its surgeons deploy the Biodynamics® Breast Analysis System, which …

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  1. Disco-Legend-Zeke
    Joke

    Body Scanners

    >> which come in "4 projections, 4 gel types"

    Funny this article popped up just after i was reading the Airport Full Body Scanner comments. And i was considering how one might conceal Gel types on the body.

  2. Stu
    Thumb Up

    Software

    Wow.

    What it must have been like on the development team when they wrote this software!

    How did the guys keep their cool in front of the female staff when somebody proposed a texture mapped breast implant simulation graphical system! Thumbs up all round I'd wager.

    And what lucky sod got to take the photographs and laser scan the ladies?

    Ooooh mama.

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      I hope he wasn't a game developer..

      A group of military people have already discovered this can lead to armed kangaroos.

      I admit I have trouble mentally teaming this up with breast pictures, but if there's a way, a game developer is sure to find one..

  3. TeeCee Gold badge
    Joke

    Darwin cries fowl.

    We're not doing any favours to the chicken gene pool if all the sophisticated ones get filleted to make fake boobs.

    Don't PETA have something to say about murdering chickens for such a poultry cosmetic enhancement?

    1. Peter Kay

      The writer doth protest too much

      One suggests TeeCee has been cooped up too long, now trying to find an angle to please the chicks so he can get a quick gobble ;).

  4. 46Bit

    Pun

    That sounds like the "breast" idea I've ever heard.

  5. iamapizza
    Coat

    Good idea

    This is a good idea, you can ensure that the end results will be as you had envisioned rather than going under the knife and realizing afterwards that everything has gone tits up.

  6. Dave Murray
    Thumb Down

    What's the point?

    At the end of the day they will always be a poor (and obvious) substitute for the real thing.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good idea

    Although a comment on the Sun seems to say surgeons have also been doing that for years.

    Of course, it's a tiny bit inaccurate to say it's as simply as before and after pictures. Learning about some of the things that can go wrong (or even normally) for a few weeks after breast implant surgery almost put me off my lunch.

    It would be better to make women happier about their bodies, even if I have to admit that all things being equal (fortunately they never are) I'd prefer a woman with reasonably sized bosoms.

  8. Juan Inamillion
    Thumb Up

    @Darwin cries fowl.

    Top man! New keyboard required!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I'm sure...

    ..some women would be happy with just the vest!

  10. LinkOfHyrule
    Joke

    And where exactly is the breast angle...

    And where exactly is the breast angle in this story?

    oops posted in wrong story! This comment was meant for that story on databasey thingy-ma-bobs or some s**t!

  11. Neal 5

    Hmmmm

    does ones partner get to offer an opinion on the "reality" of the implants, or is this purely for women with inferiority complexes who can't use their personality to win partners.

    Anyhow, my vote goes for no silicon and a women with A personality. To be crude one doesn't fuck silicon, one make processors from silicon.

    1. Brutus
      Headmaster

      And to be pedantic...

      one doesn't make breast implants out of silicon, one uses silicone ;-)

      Otherwise, totally agree with your main point.

  12. Captain TickTock
    Thumb Up

    Are they BAAPS approved?

    - The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons

    I kid you not :)

  13. Paul 129
    Paris Hilton

    Reminds me of another intersting bit of work.

    Measuring Human Lactation.

    1. Take stereoscopic images

    2. Send images to mining company

    3. Fudge factor to convert back from metric tonnes, of the relevant ore bodies

    4. Smiles all round

    http://mammary.nih.gov/reviews/lactation/Hartmann001/index.html

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      "figure 1"

      In that link and its context. OMFG, you so owe me a keyboard for that alone.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Neal 5

    I think you need to learn the difference between silicon and silicone.

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