back to article ElReg40™ seeks the world's worst web 2.0 ideas

Readers who live on planet Earth may have failed to notice it but the white hot, bleeding edge, ground zero of web 2.0 imagineering this week was the TechCrunch40 conference in San Francisco. Thankfully for us, The Guardian had its finger on the pulse, and had the editorial imagination to publish 8,000 words about the best and …

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  1. James Anderson

    lagsReunited

    Miss your old mates from Landing 4. Want to be open about your open prison experience then lagsReunited is for you! Sign up for membership of the worlds first antiSocial networking network and get free access to eFence, myShooter, caseBook and youHit.

  2. Telebusillis

    PSP

    ofcom's latest joke idea

  3. Peter Lenz

    El Veg

    El Veg: A user content-driven Silverlight-powered site that serves as your portal to the world of extreme bean sprout gardening. Think You-Tube meets a pile of manure. (IE only)

  4. Mark

    Other Web 2.0 Help

    Here are some additional webbysourcing sites to help with your Web 2.0 blandification:

    http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html

    http://www.emptybottle.org/bullshit

    http://h-master.net/web2.0/index.php

    Feel free to provide more Webby Words for the Nano Now (tm) at http://webbyword.wordpress.com

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    SCO

    <Insert $Darlism here>

    What do I win?

  6. Alan Donaly

    myfurTube

    A social networking site and media host for pets. Pet owners will post video of their pets antics and use automatically generated avatars based on them. Conventions would include communicating only as if it were coming from fluffy.

  7. Anton Ivanov

    Kaltura or Haltura?

    The two are pronounced very similar in Russian... While the first one is Web2-ism, the latter means shoddy work or shoddy art. Probably someone had some sense of humour when naming the idea.

  8. Rob

    Kibosh

    Utilising the latest in cutting-edge high voltage gadget technology, Kibosh allows the rich virtual community to share their innovative lifestyle ideas and vote for the most popular, resulting in peer-generated long-distance democratic elimination based on group social standing (and who is sleeping with whose boyfriend). Consider it MySpace meets Sing-Sing.

  9. Rob

    Cackbox

    Think of it as Facebook and YouTube meets a mental correctional facility : Cackbox is an innovative Web 2.0 social networking society combining toilet activity, webcams and fashion discussions in one convenient hole on the web.

  10. Alan Paice

    SupaRegNews

    Like the register just with actual I.T news... No seriously a site like that would be pretty cool..

  11. Dave Prendergast

    838.com.ng

    838.com.ng are a Web 2.0 startup company located in sunny Silicon Valley - Nigeria. Our initial products are advanced spelling and grammar checking tools for the Web 2.0 social engineering community.

    We are for a limited time offering pre-IPO stocks to qualified investors at 50 cents on the dollar. To qualify for this special offer contact us via PayPal with your $10,000 enrollment fee to Skam419*2@838.com.ng

  12. Jeremiah Steidl

    SneakerNET

    SneakerNET is the newest form of peer to peer file sharing mixed with a liberal dash of social networking! With it, you can use our innovative new file sharing protocol (cattle class) to find a file you want, physically transport yourself to the location of the hoster, and burn a CD of the file straight from his copy! (Airline tickets will not be provided, you must purchase them yourself.)

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Web 2.0 is cool...

    ...but when are they going to release Web 2.1?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @myfurTube

    For some reason my first thought was a site for women with, ummm, hairy, ummm...yeah

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BigBrother 2.0

    Some time ago, we had these incredibly boring TV productions called BigBrother where a bunch of fury morons were gathered together in a cave and no, not a grooving Pict in there but TV cameras all around. And, absolutely astonishingly, people were watching this rubbish.

    Here is it: BigBrother 2.0. People mount webcams in their homes, film themselves being nothing but an awful bore and load the cheap crap up to a website where all others can watch it.

    Wait, reminds me of something familiar...?

    EAfH

  16. Richard Tobin

    Will this do?

    We have a fantastic new concept in Journalism. Think of it as The Register meets The Inquirer. We call it... The Register.

  17. John Boyarsky

    An oldie revamped

    Yes ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the revolution. We have an idea for the newest old technology to make it to Web 2.0. Yes that's right. Smell-o-Vision. Flash animations, Dog food commercials and Brittany Spears all come to life through the ajax programming of this little cheap USB 2 device. Bring the action right to your nose with the New Smell-o-Vision for Web 2.0.

  18. DV Henkel-Wallace

    mash-up is so lame

    (I swear it's true: when I got to the bottom of the article it said there were..._*17*_ comments....).

    The mash-up is merely a one-way Conversation with the MLM and megacorps. The true crowdsourced pleaser is the Sarnie (TM), the RSS Feed that keeps you in touch with your friend's movements. This FriendTwitter (which we call "Fritter") is your own high-degree personalised data "mix tape" of financial records, mp3s, indescreet acts and peculiar purchases. Upon it is laid the crowdsourced Titter of your community -- that's the Conversation -- while your Fritter rests upon the mass media (for that's where the bread is). This PersonalStack is truly Delicous. It's a high-cholesterol Rich Multimedia experience. Today's consumer doesn't want the same experience as everyone else, today's consumer makes their own Younique life-mix, and the Sarnie ties it all together in an easily-handled personal way that is naturally part of the daily rituals. It's what you've been waiting for, and it's online for you.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    SpotYaLaterz

    A social powered web2.0 mashup taking the best of facebook, twitter, Hot or not and some other bollocks to create a new inspiring meta-paradigm.

    List your symptoms, get an instant diagnosis of your sexually transmitted disease, use facebook to work out who you got it from, twitter to find them and twatter to twat them, hot or not to warn others about just how hot.

  20. Ninja

    FantasyIsland2.0

    Imagine if you will, a real-time user generated monetised social networking experience, like Digg, only we call the digg button the thumbsUP2.0 or thumbsDOWN2.0 buttons (an example of how idea rich we are)

    FantasyIsland2.0 is a cross platform, Microsoft Vista only chatting service where people pay you if you say something they like and contribute to voting you off the FantasyIsland2.0 service if they take a dislike to you.

    Think Survivor meets YouTube without the video but all of the loading time and you'll be one step closer to imagining what we have done for the ajax driven wikiwebosphere of life online.

  21. Daniel Winstone

    You woke me up for this??

    I said it before, until someone comes up with a fully functioning Holodeck, I'm still sleeping.

  22. frank denton

    Domain Grab

    I had a look at the article link 'try this' which is http://www.dotomator.com/web20.html and great fun it is too. Even better is the companion utility at http://www.dotomator.com/index.html

    You can spend a few minutes having fun with these two as well as similar sites which can be found.

    Then, as a matter of interest, I pressed the 'check availability' button and found that every generated domain name that sounded 'snappy' or 'cool' or in some way believable as a domain name had in fact been registered, usually as a parked domain. I assume that some sad muppet has used the Dot-O-Mator and it's ilk to build up a nest-egg of 'desirable' domain names which they hope to sell at a vast profit to nascent Web2.0 start ups desperate for a cool and snappy name.

    Who is this evil genius that has hoarded all the 'best' names in his hollowed out volcano lair?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re: El Veg

    El Sedge: MMORPG - you're a constituency supporter of the new PM. Help to keep his best worst mate out of No.10 for as long as possible.

    El Edge: User-driven (nuclear) flash game for opening the San Andreas fault, an idea formerly adopted by a bald guy in some movie. What, you don't want to visit Luthorville? Much better than having to travel that bit further for a conference, you know. Besides, those on the wrong side are going to sink, sooner or later, anyway. May as well get it over with!

    ---

    ...& back to the article...

    "Sometimes you have those moments that make you think it really isn't worth it"

    No sh*t, Sherlock. Someone's just had their 27th birthday. ;-)

    Disclaimer: Here's my MiddleDigit, are you asking for a FaceMash? You old BeansEngagement, fat SausageTarget, etc., etc., etc.

  24. Nazlfrag

    iLaff

    Our revolutionary client based solution smashes the RSS paradigm combining the best of webcasts, podcasts, vodcasts, blogcasts and webinarcasts using the latest in amorphic datamining solutions. We have smashed down antiquated media paradigms and rocketed them into the Web 2.0 sphere! Our patent pending real time autoparametric revirtualisation technologies add canned laughter to revitalize and spice up your dull, boring newsfeeds with uproaring spontaneous hilarity! For the professional, our iLaffPro suite brings Web 2.0 to your intranet, seamlessly integrating with all of your office documents to increase the wellbeing and morale of the entire company.

  25. Mal Arkey

    MalarKey: coming to a web near you!

    MalarKey is on the forefront of Web2K technology with its bright innovative and extralutionary (TM) conceptual fusion of P2P and Cryptofuzz steganology.

    No more fear of losing your PGP keys or encrypted pr0nmarks once you share them on the MalarKey Foundry Network (Beta). Create an account, secure your identity with our patented retina fingerprint CRT/TFT-scan device right from your PC monitor, and enjoy a future of guaranteed privacy and security

    Simply upload your sensitive data to the Foundry and our servers will safely inject it as alternative data streams into mp3 and other commonly shared file formats and distribute them to millions of peers.

    Need to retrieve your lost (or delibrately deleted) hashes? No problem! Just visit our website, verify your ID and we'll provide you with anonymous torrent links to your data. Download, restore, and you'll have access to your sensitive data in no-time!

    MalarKey: National Security Administration for the Masses!

  26. C Wall

    Title

    www.watchmycatpoop.com

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