back to article Kent Police exceeded powers in too-tall photographer case

Police in Kent have at last acknowledged that arresting people for being too tall might not be a very good idea. Or rather, arresting someone for no better reason than "because they could" was unlawful and not altogether sensible. The story begins this July when photographer Alex Turner was stopped whilst taking snaps in …

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  1. CD001

    The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

    ----

    However, as there were few terrorist activities in Kent, regular officers generally have a low level of knowledge of anti terrorist legislation

    ----

    I dunno - I suppose Maidstone just _looks_ like the result of a terrorist attack?

    1. FFred
      Flame

      Easy fix

      Obviously there should be more terrorism in Kent so that the police force starts to learn its job.

  2. Hermes Conran
    Black Helicopters

    Ok, clear indication of illegality here...

    Lets see if Plod arrest themselves now!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Stop

      Make An Example Of Them!

      Whoops! I just hit the "Report" button instead of "Reply".

      Anyway, yeah, if they don't get nicked, charged, prosecuted and convicted, that will confirm that police are, in effect, somewhat above and beyond the law that the rest of us are under.

      All they have to do is think, "What if people who weren't police at all did the same stuff?" Whatever the answer is, that's what should apply to these police, too.

      Furthermore, if the police can't uphold and enforce the law within their own ranks, how can they claim to be competent to uphold and enforce the law more generally? Perhaps that's something for the higher ranks to squirm about, realising that to protect their own careers, they need to make an example of the lower ranking plods who committed these crimes of false imprisonment, etc, in the first place. Time to actually root out these few bad apples!

      Or does Kent Police want to be regarded as a criminal organisation?

      Go on, make an example of them!

  3. alain williams Silver badge
    Big Brother

    DNA destroyed then

    Since the arrest is now declared illegal, then the DNA sample that they would have taken on arrest is now deemed taken illegally. So: has the sample been destroyed ?

    1. Ted Treen
      Big Brother

      Probably so...

      but you must understand that dealing with photographers and average-height people (plus the associated paperwork) will take priority, so the DNA records will be deleted - but not until circa 2016...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @ alain williams

      No DNA in this case as he was only held in a van and that has to be done at a station, your point is still valid though, there are still hundreds of thousands of illegally held (by european law) samples and more are still being taken.

    3. Steve Evans

      i don't believe they took one...

      He was detained, searched and then dearrested in the street/van.

      DNA samples are normally taken at booking in the station.

  4. Christoph
    Black Helicopters

    You *will* be happy

    "expressing confidence that the public are happy with the police acting in this way."

    Because anyone expressing unhappiness with it will be arrested?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    It's the legislation that is at fault...

    Good job he wasn't walking on the cracks in the pavements, otherwise he'd have been off to Paddington Green for 45 days...

    Seriously though, how bad does it have to get before people start to demand change? Maybe there is no tipping point; NAZI Germany went happily down the road to perdition without protest significant enough to make a difference, and we are half way to facism already.

    Hermann Goering said that getting the population to do the will of government was easy, you just had to tell them they were being attacked (terrorism) and then marginalise the 'pacifists' as unpatriotic enemy sympathisers. Sound familiar?

    I'm voicing my protest at least in part via Facebook group "Hang Parliament" and invite others to do the same.

  6. kyndair
    FAIL

    very special branch

    They're only special in that they believe they are gods gift to crime fighting and the ends always justify the means.

    The state of policing in this country has become an utter fail or should that be this police state has failed as a country

  7. Jacqui Smith's DVD Collection!

    I think this can be summed up in these two paragraphs...

    "El Reg asked Kent Police on several occasions to explain what had happened and also to reveal the precise legal grounds for the arrest. Even if an arrest is subsequently determined to be unlawful, police officers should, at the time of making that arrest, have a clear idea of the legal grounds for so doing, and be able to make that clear to members of the public."

    "Failing to respond directly to our inquiry the first time, Assistant Chief Constable Allyn Thomas claimed merely that Mr Turner’s quite legal behaviour was "suspicious" – thereby implying that generalised suspicion, irrespective of any statutory basis for arrest, is good enough for Kent Police."

    I think a citizens arrest may be in order for Assistant Chief Constable Allyn Thomas, he is acting very suspiciously indeed! He may even be a terrorist!

    1. Ted Treen
      Big Brother

      Probably not a terrorist...

      Just "The Worst Anti-Terrorist", or T.W.A.T., for short.

  8. Ted Treen
    FAIL

    Clarification, at last.

    So the ACC AND a Chief Super both come out with the line "Don't ask us to understand our powers, chummy:- we make 'em up as we feel we need to. Now get in our van and get yer strides off, you're nicked".

    I can sleep soundly & safely in my bed knowing that although my car's being vandalised and my house is being burgled, no 12stone 5'11" man-mountain can photograph my local shopping centre with impunity.

    Makes me proud to be English...

  9. Gianni Straniero

    Whoa there, big fella

    I am delighted to note that 5' 11'' is now considered "tall". I think I will step out for a spot of light intimidation.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      Worse yet..

      As 6 ft 3 and about 13 stone, that must make me a freak of nature- my cameras should be destroyed forthwith, too. I'm probably a terrorist or something, as I have quite big feet and depressingly boat-like shoes, also.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Paris Hilton

        staying away

        not visiting the uk any time soon, until you overthrow that police state you're in. @ 6'10" and 280lbs, sounds like I'll not make it through customs hall at heathrow, even if I'm not carrying a camera.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Pirate

      @ Gianni Straniero

      'I am delighted to note that 5' 11'' is now considered "tall".'

      It is if you are PCSO. That force being made up almost exclusively of those who want to be police officers but drawn from who are too short and/or fat and/or stupid and/or impatient to make it through Hendon, and for whom the robust competitive commercial environment of the Civil Enforcement Officer (fka Traffic Warden) is too directly demanding. Anyone over 5'6" or in possession of a degree from a minor third-world university is a threat to their domination of the public space.

  10. FiremanSam
    Gates Halo

    Cue Daily Mail induced histeria

    Cue Daily Mail induced histeria recalling as many examples of bad policing as possible

    Saint Bill because wouldn't it be great if all police were perfect like all IT workers!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Silly

      All IT workers are perfect just like my marriage just ask my wife, mistress......or boyfriend.

      A/C for so many reasons.

    2. Greg J Preece

      Daft thing to say

      Last time I checked, your average IT worker wasn't employed to be socially responsible, or to uphold a certain set of moral standards as an example to the public, and didn't have the power to affect/arrest those around him on the street for no apparent reason...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Good...

    ..now I hope he sues for False imprisoment and False arrest, kick while they're down (or is that only what the Met Do?)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Good

      Don't get your hopes up. The police are, as a body, one of the most vindicatve associations on this planet. If they can't make stick what you were detained for then they will try to justify that detention any way they can until they get something that will stick. In this case he clearly couldn't be done for taking photographs so they went for the intimidation charge. However, now that this judgement has been made and he's effectively got one over on plod I suspect that his days are numbered. The slightest foot wrong and they will have him.

    2. Stratman

      Kicking is for provincials

      The Met don't kick 'em while they're down, as they have a nasty habit of getting back up and telling tales.

      Much better to pop a few caps in the head. Dead men don't sue.

  12. NB
    FAIL

    take this title and shove it.

    Isn't it reassuring that some jobsworth dickheads, on a power trip, that don't have a fucking clue about the laws they're meant to be enforcing, can arrest you for being a bit bigger than them?

    I, for one, am thoroughly satisfied with this form of policing. Really I am, it doesn't make me want to punch the lot of them in their collective faces with an enraged rabid badger at all. Nope, not a jot.

    This is just the kind of law enforcement we need. Under-trained, insecure and clearly happy to over step the bounds of their authority, these are the officious retards we want patrolling our streets.

    Every. Fucking. Day.

    1. Trygve

      badger punching

      So how does that work? Presumably you strap the badger to your knuckles like a large agitated boxing glove, since holding it in your hand to add weight to the punch would need a very small badger or unfeasibly large hands.

      Perhaps some sort of small harness with loops for your hand would help. But should the badger be fitted to strike head-first (good bite access and nice solid impact but badger soon unconscious) or is it better to strike your victim with the badgers back or stomach and rely on it delivering enough clawing and snapping to make up for the somewhat cushioned impact?

      Interesting. Maybe there's some mileage in just wrapping the badger in industrial-strength double-sided sticky tape and throwing it at whoever annoys you.

      1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
        Paris Hilton

        Pedantic

        1. NB said "punching with badger" nor "badger punching" which implies something else.

        2. Sounds a bit complex this badger glove, might be easier just to stick a broom handle up the badger's a**e, that will give you a bit more reach when dealing with 4'9" plods (and the badger can't bite you)

        Paris, I've always admired her badger… hang on., I think that’s the wrong animal

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm 6'1!

    I'm 6'1 and about 13 1/2 stone - should I hand myself in or can I claim asylum in the netherlands?

  14. Was Steve
    Go

    Clearly we're all happy

    Don't know how this report happened then: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article6932548.ece

  15. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    wrong job

    neither 5'11" and 12 stone are abnormal - pretty average really. If the WPO finds this 'intimidating' she is in the wrong job. Why are we wasting tax payers money on employing this ineffectual WPO??

  16. lukewarmdog
    Badgers

    As a smaller person

    I am all for the arresting of large people.

    I am sick of them standing in front of me at gigs, getting served at bars before me, getting their own tall shops, it needs sorting.

    They should all be arrested and forced to serve community service driving old people to the shops in minis.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Badgers

      @lukewarmdog

      And we all know that short people shouldn't be allowed to use umberellas...

  17. Valerion
    FAIL

    Since when

    Are PCSOs considered "backup" ?

    PC - "Officer down! Shots fired! Send backup!"

    <hides behind car door waiting for backup>

    <PCSO soon arrives on bicycle, wearing full body armour, er, I mean a bike helmet>

    PCSO - "Oi you lot, put those guns down before I, er, ask you nicely to stay put until some more real cops come?"

    Anyway, I'm 6'2" and 17 stone so I'm going to stay away from Kent in case I frighten the poor little WPCs. Incidentally, the WPC is clearly not capable of being a police officer if she is intimidated by men of, frankly, average height and should be removed from duty immediately.

  18. Scott 19

    The old boys club

    will not like this, questioning there ability to harass someone on the grounds that they don't like the look of you.

  19. Jim 59
    FAIL

    double plus ungood

    Yes, that's right Ch Supt Steve, we are just happy for you to do whatever you want without regard to wimpy human rights. Now go and arrest everyone over 5' 11'. Everyone under 5'11" - pour a bucket of water over their heads.

  20. keddaw
    Grenade

    Money, Money, Money

    Okay, this is coming out of my pocket at some point, but unless we start seriously suing these organisations for illegally depriving innocent people of their liberty then they'll keep doing it.

    Start handing out 6 figure judgments against them. Make it come out of their operational (including wages!) budget. Make cops turn against cops for doing bad things to the public. Increased crime stats in an area because operational cash went to compensation? Tough, stop doing things that cause you to pay compensation - i.e. keep within the law you purport to uphold.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    he was too big..

    or fat or white or black or muslimish or.. just make it up. (once the word isn't to long as PC f***wit usually has little RAM and only a tiny PCU)

    when we have f***wits in Parliament guarding the pc plod f***wits and the IPCC f***wits with the balls of a goldfish, what do we expect..

    Get me Batman

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    DNA Database

    Next task...

  23. Sean Timarco Baggaley
    Thumb Up

    "The Goodies" predicted this in the 1970s.

    In a satirical episode about South Africa, they replaced apartheid with the concept of "apartheight".

    Sounds like the WPC in this story was a fan.

  24. Pete 43
    Black Helicopters

    Out of work Jockey turned PSCO

    Did the knee caps?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not a good week to be a Copper...

    How many negative policing articles does this make now this week? By my count we must have at least 4 up already...

    Good to know their PR is great.

    1. Dave 120

      PR, what PR?

      I have often mused that most of the time Police Forces never stick up for themselves in the press to correct biased reporting. I wonder if it would make any difference if they did?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    and a word of praise for el reg

    putting yer asses on the line following this up. What has this country come to?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    A rare Kent Police Standards result

    but dont expect anything to change in the way they operate.

    Having been on the recieving end of Kent polices interpretation of the law I can certainly concur that they operate well outside the law when it suits them.

    I suggest that the victim should be making a complaint of assault given the fact that the arrest has been deemed unlawful.

    Kent Police need to learn that its time to join the human race.

    Black Helicopters - no explanation needed

  28. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Tchah!

    Time was when you had to be 6foot plus to even *be* a copper.

    I blame the 'Police Academy' films - do Kent plod use them as training aids?

  29. idontlikeironing
    Welcome

    Let them have their fun

    On those wages, consider it a perk.

  30. John Ozimek

    Anti-copper?

    Hmmmm.

    It is always possible that a spate of anti-police articles will follow on from the police doing things that cause the general public to raise their collective eyebrows...

    ...or, as this is the Register, from police doing TECHY things to cause mass eyebrow-raising.

    Personally, I hope that what we do is far more nuanced than that. It also depends in large measure on how clever the police (and other bodies are) at handling flak. It further depends on the old truism that people are interested in news that is bad - not good.

    This particular story revisits and develops a story that we reported on in July. We have not invented it: and it seems to me to fall into two parts... an original piece of mis-placed zeal by coppers on the street, followed by a rather cack-handed attempt to spin the facts.

    The stuff on the street is pretty mundane. OK: apart from the "too tall" comment. The refusal to answer some pretty legitimate questions, not least in respect of what legislation the arrest was made under, comes under the heading of "when you're in a hole, stop digging".

    No matter. In addition to upsetting Kent Police today, I had a productive and friendly discussion with CEOP, ditto with ACPO - and arranged to go chat to a senior police officer whose specialism is not a million miles from the hearts of El Reg readers.

    Though whether you'd enjoy reading, day after day, about all the police persons I get on with perfectly well, I am not so sure.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    And then ...

    ... the bobbies wonder why people don't rush to help when asked.

    But, of course, it will probably take a 300,000 GBP consultant fee to establish why police - public perceptions of each other tend to go terribly wrong?

  32. Dave 120
    Unhappy

    Poor training does not a police state make

    Its a shame that what could have been a fairly innocuous incident was spoiled by apparently poor training/knowledge on behalf of the police.

    Of course we'll discount the possibility that the photographer might be egging the pudding and that there were no other relevant factors at play and he was as amiable and cooperative as he infers.

    It is right that, unusually, the powers the police have for stopping and searching under terrorist legislation do not require reasonable grounds to exercise their use. You can get upset about this if you want but thats the way it is. Other legislation also provides a power to require someone to provide information as to their identity and movements, again requiring no suspicion of any offence. Failing to do so IS an arrestable offence.

    What is often confused is that GROUNDS for an arrest are not the same as NECESSITY for arrest.

    But based on the story as presented the necessity of the arrest seems to be the issue here. Ironically though you can be "detained" for as long as is necessary to search you, or ascertain your identity and movements which would have amounted to the same thing but not technically been an arrest as such under law.

    In all likelihood the police at the time responded negatively to being photographed and used the "gathering information likely to be of use to terrorists". An unkind person might argue that annoying the police was the intention of the photographer by taking their picture in the first place.

    Yes the police have made a mistake and yes I suspect rather than admitting it have tried a bit of FUD instead. But in the interests of balance I would say this. I suggest that the majority of people do not like to be photographed and I have come across many who believe it is illegal to do so. If you doubt it, walk up to a stranger getting into their car and take a picture of them and see what happens.

    Add that fundamental dislike with the paranoia of the polcie about terrorism and complex legislation and its hardly surprising that this will happen. But that comes back to my first point that Kent police themselves (eventually) admitted, training is key.

    I have my own views about WHY you get by default such corporate bollocks from police forces nowadays. But that would just be ranting...

    1. nsld
      Paris Hilton

      @dave 120

      "It is right that, unusually, the powers the police have for stopping and searching under terrorist legislation do not require reasonable grounds to exercise their use."

      If I recall a section 43 stop does require reasonable suspicion, whereas if a section 44 order has been issued to designate an area for all stop and search then your example would apply.

      A section 44 designation for Chatham is unlikely, its the kind of thing thats imposed on the city of London which is a terrorist target.

      And therein lies the problem if its not a section 44 area then reasonable suspicion is required to make an arrest and given the quality of policing in Kent the chance of that is low.

      Paris - she isnt frightened of men!

      1. SweetFanny
        Pirate

        Section 44 in Chatham High Street

        We think the most likely reason for a section 44 (which lasts 28 days) to be in place at the time Alex was arrested is that Gordon Brown had recently visited Chatham Dockyard for Armed Forces Day. We're not sure whether the s44 covered the High Street though because the arrest was registered as taking place on Military Road (nearer to the dockyard) when he was actually arrested in the High Street.

        The Independent sent a couple of people along to the photo walk back in August. Their video, plus another made by a young photographer, plus photos of the day can be found on the Medway Eyes website for anyone who is interested.

        http://www.medwayeyes.co.uk/rightsandwrongs.html

    2. Ross 7

      Plain clothes

      You've missed one detail in the story tho - the people alleging themselves to be police officers that asked him to ID himself were in plain clothes and failed to provide ID themselves. You will notice on the tele that when CID go smashing doors they always take some blue with them to effect the arrests. It;s also almost certainly the reason they called for backup in this instance - to make the arrest.

      The police are in general a reasonable bunch of folk, and do a very hard job which is almost certain to make make anyone lose faith in humanity, but that doesn't give them license to operate beyond the law. On the occasions when they do, they need to be taken down a peg or two otherwise we really will end up in a police state. Or worse, the vast majority will lose all respect for the police and *nobody* will care to help them or abide by their requests.

      The police are in a trusted place - they need to keep that trust. This ain't how you do it.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Wait, what?

      You said:

      =====

      Other legislation also provides a power to require someone to provide information as to their identity and movements, again requiring no suspicion of any offence. Failing to do so IS an arrestable offence.

      =====

      Usual disclaimer - I am not a lawyer - but I don't think that in this case there was a legal basis for demanding his ID (the point of contention; he (apparently) quite willingly accounted for his actions and behaviour). He certainly was not under suspicion of antisocial behaviour (for which you can be arrested if you fail to ID yourself), and he wasn't driving a motor vehicle (any constable can demand the identity of a car driver, for example, absent any suspicion of wrongdoing). What "other legislation" are you trying to hang on this chap?

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    Sticking it to the man

    Well done, a victory well deserved, and now they'll hopefully compensate.

    How often he now gets stopped for "we couldn't see your tax disc, sir, and we'll just check your tyres, and blow into this please" deliberate inconvenience rather depends on how vindictive the plod down Kent way are.

  34. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge
    Flame

    Look on the bright side....

    Mr Alex Turner is lucky that he's not mildly schizophrenic, like JFL. Otherwise he would now be looking at a 13 month sentence.

  35. Nomen Publicus

    Constable Savage

    S: (in a slow and somewhat stupid voice) Which charges do you mean then, sir?

    O: Well, for instance, this one: loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing. Savage, maybe you’re not aware of this, but it is not illegal to use a pedestrian crossing. Neither is smelling of foreign food an offence.

    S: You’re sure, sir?

    O: Also there is no law against urinating in a public convenience or coughing without due care and attention.

    S: If you say so, sir.

    O: Yes, I do say so, Savage! Didn’t they teach you anything at training school?

    S: I’m sorry, sir.

    O: Some of these cases are plain stupid: looking at me in a funny way … Is this some kind of joke, Savage?

    S: No, sir.

    O: And we have some more here: walking on the cracks in the pavement, walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness and walking around with an offensive wife. In short, Savage, in the space of one month you’ve brought 117 ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges.

    You all though that was just a funny sketch from Not the Nine O'Clock News. It turns out to be a remarkable far-sighted prediction of the future.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I was on a plane recently.

    One of the in-flight movies was Changeling which has a wonderful summary of what it means to condemn people for being a bit off.

    1. Cheeky Chappie
      Big Brother

      Just seen it

      I've just watched this film, and it was frightening just how much the Los Angeles police could get away with.

      I know that this - true - story took place in the '30s but even so, it doesn't seem to be that much of a stretch for something similar happening here

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Local Press in Kent

    I sent an email with the link to the original El Reg stories to the Chatham editor of the Kent Messenger Group. As far as I know they have never published anything at all about this story!!

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Alternative title?

    Kent short ers boabiz get hoyty-toity wiv a long ers?

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Application for subheadlinewriter

    Surely it should have been Candid Complaints Copper Condems Crappy Cent Colleagues

    I'll get my coat

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Heigh-Ho

    I didn't know they'd started employing dwarfs in the Kent Constabulary. Still, I'm all in favour of equal opportunities. It's just a shame this one was Dopey.

  41. Les Matthew

    Re: PR, what PR?

    Haven't you watched terrestrial television recently?

  42. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Urgent Assistance required for giant!

    nice to see that the "special" branch were backed up by a PCSO and WPC. If the threat had been any more serious, they may have even called in a couple of store detectives.

    Comforting that dangerous camera-wielding-height-enhanced terrorists are met with such a swift response. Between them, the four of them probably couldn't spell "CO19" let alone figure out what buttons to press on the radio to summon them.

    Seriously though, Kent........ surely lofty has suffered enough.

  43. seamusH-D
    WTF?

    Kent police intimidated?

    As someone who is also 5'11", and 12 stone (1.79m and 75.5Kg), a grizzled beard, and hair in a braid almost to my waist, I am worried about being arrested while driving through Kent. The fact that I look exactly like the ubergeek that I am (was: retired these last 21 months), complete with bat-belt, Leather-man, Swiss army knife, etc. The last bit alone must be enough to bang me up for 10 years. The fact that a WPC is intimidated by someone like me must explain why the last (20th) Hells Angels bash in Kent was years ago: now THEY are intimidating. I was there at the last bash.

    Anyone know how to drive (or ride a Harley) from Dover to SW20 without going through Kent?

  44. JMB

    Kent plod

    There were reports at the beginning of the week about the police using the charge of "joint enterprise" against people who saw a crime take place but took no action to stop it.

    Does this mean that any other police officers who saw this unlawful act take place are guilty of Joint Enterprise because they took no action to stop it and should be charged along with those that illegally detained him?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Grenade

      Ian Tomlinson?

      In relation to that "Joint Enterprise" thing, the assault of Ian Tomlinson came to mind.

      There you had someone, on their way home from work, walking past a group of people. One of the group suddenly strikes that man, and then pushes him to the ground. This happens right in front of the rest of the group, who must be seeing this happen right in front of them, because it's happening right in front of them. They do not intervene. They just let it happen, as they watch. Are they all guilty?

      I want to know what the police would make of that, without them knowing it's the assault of Ian Tomlinson being described.

      Might "Joint Enterprise" be the petard by which the police hoist themselves?

  45. John Sanders
    Coat

    Reason? Logic?

    Guys, guys!

    Stop this nonsense commenting, he was arrested after one of the agents involved saw an incriminating micro-expression which was the definitive proof that lead to the arrest.

    (The agents had seen last night "Lie to me" episode and were left impressed by it)

  46. ZenCoder
    Unhappy

    I've got an idea

    Before passing any legislation that sacrifices our liberty for a supposed increase in safely .... there is a mandatory reading of a list of things that kill more people per year than terrorism.

    Personally I'd like to keep my right intact until maybe terrorism becomes a bigger threat than not chewing my food thoroughly.

    Anyway I was off to buy a assault riffle to defend my home, but on second thought maybe I should buy some cute yellow anti-stick ducks for the bottom of my bathtub. They are cheaper, safer and more likely to actually save my life.

  47. Pete 8

    Who farted

    Lets see with this Govt std issue butt-sniffer.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Police effectiveness

    Any police officer who claims to be intimidated by men of average height and build is a "waste of police time".

  49. nichomach
    Pint

    @John Sanders

    "Ah, see, now THAT was a lie..." - One surmises that for them to notice it, however, the "micro-expression" would have had to have been somewhat akin to a grand-mal seizure.

  50. jimbarter
    Black Helicopters

    that's not tall

    I'm 6'3" and 15 stone, and I carry a camera everywhere...

    I shall not be visiting Kent for my holidays this year.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Police: 2482 - People of the UK: 1

    Genuinely pleasing nonetheless.

  52. This post has been deleted by its author

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yes, this intimidation has to stop

    quite frankly the police garb and manner is just way too terrifying.

    Instead they should be forced to wear:

    Pink Lederhosen Shorts

    String Vest, Hollywood Cerise

    A Yellow Carnation tucked into the back of the shorts

    Strapless Mid Level Heels, painted (colour as to personal taste) toes showing

    A Tufty Club Badge (no pin, taped on)

    When approaching a human being, they should first thank them profusely for their job, and then do a short ditty of 'I am little Tea Pot Short and Stout' with hand actions. On Bank Holidays they combine that with the 'Birdy Song' full body movements, partnered with an accordion.

    After they have done that, and said their piece, which they must do in Latin for it is the legal language, they should skip and frolic off, whilst showering petals from an ever so cute little hand basket.

  54. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    His size?

    5'11" (1.8m in real money) and 12stone (76kg*) is "intimidating" is it? Christ, hope I never go to Kent. I'm 1.92m, 85kg and usually clad in two-piece armoured leathers/textiles. The poor Kent-ish police would obviously piss themselves and call the armed response unit.

    Although, as seamusH-D says...you wonder how the police cope when the 8-1 are in town. Of course that could explain why so many trouble-free events were cancelled on the say-so of plod. Fear. We must all live in fear!

    As a nation we really do need to re-grow a pair of balls; y'know?

    *El Reg, you may not have noticed, but this is the 21st century. Please, please use SI units as the outdated** Imperial ones don't make much sense to people these days. Gallons, pounds etc vary between counties and "stone" is meaningless to non-Brits.

    **Yes, they are outdated. Now stop yer moanin'.

  55. Lord Lien
    Paris Hilton

    Chatham...

    Does anyone know what he was taking photo's off? I've lived in Chatham for years & I can't honestly think of anything worth taking a picture off.

    Paris, because the skanky chavs that frequent Chatham High Street on a Saturday make her look like an angel

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "as there were few terrorist activities in Kent"

    Does this mean there are more now? (even excluding camera-carrying people-of-average-height)

    I'd like to see a list of terrorist activities in Kent, since I don't recall ever coming across one in recent* history.

    (*I can't remember too much of anything before that)

  57. transientcylon
    Thumb Up

    Refreshing...

    To know if I cross the pond on vacation I wont be arrested for taking pictures. At 7'1" (apologies for laziness with the lack of a metric conversion) the police would surely haul me away in a heartbeat. Clearly I'm working for some shady organization.

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