back to article Home Office makes nice cartoon ID card ad

The Home Office is to spend over £500,000 this year on a marketing campaign for the identity card which features cartoon fingerprints. A departmental spokesperson told GC News that it is planning a public information campaign to alert businesses on the need to prepare for the introduction of the card, which will initially be …

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  1. Anomalous Cowherd Silver badge

    Staff, be prepared.

    I look forward to seeing the staff at my local Tesco being trained in the art of fingerprint analysis.

    "Sorry sir, I know it looks like you but there's an arch where there should be a whirl. No Pinot Grigio for you!"

  2. Kevin Johnston

    Hmmm

    "This will help businesses with 'know your employee'

    Perhaps a special copy in the internal post to that nice Baroness Scotland?

  3. seanj
    Grenade

    So...

    Condescending, patronising, forced through despite fierce opposition and at great cost to the taxpayer...

    Yep, sounds like a Nu Labour policy to me.

    T minus 8 months, 6 days.

  4. H2Nick

    F@ck me

    There I was, thinking there was a recession & that HM Gov would be cutting unnecessary spending.

    Guess pi55ing away another £500K doesn't really matter

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    An idea

    How about copyrighting or trademarking ones own fingerprints ??. May be that would give some control ?.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Patronising....

    ...b*stards can go and get f*cked if they think I will >ever< comply with this b*ll*cks!

    Viva La Revolución.

  7. Paul Slater

    Advert

    "one advert for which features a cartoon fingerprint unveiling the identity card to an admiring audience of other fingerprints"

    I'm so glad I got rid of my TV a few months ago.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    What next?

    Kids advertising for the adults... Yeah, come on... sounds cool. You know it makes sense...

    Thundercats selling the tax return forms.

    Batfink trying to sell me on the requirement to provide for my own pension?

    The DVLA using Top Cat to remind me about my car tax?

    Nu Labour.... ***kin' idiots

    Epic waste of cash, £500,000 of money that could be better used to provide the NHS some nurses, or perhaps some front line troops a working Gun/armour/jeep/plane/boat.

    Flames because Guy Fawkes was right.

  9. Dan 10

    Cartoons

    Use of artificial characters is just a step forward from the last great political faux pas forced on Manchester: When the council were pushing the Congestion Charge, people were shown on adverts waxing lyrical about how good it was going to be for them travelling on public transport etc. The only problem was, they were American actors.

    At least this way, they can't be rumbled for using people who don't even live in the affected area!

  10. Wokstation

    "Businesses need to ensure that their staff are ready to recognise the National Identity Card"

    A real one, or a fake, cloned one? Do they get the reader kit that no-one else seems to be getting?

  11. Elmer Phud
    FAIL

    Nu Lab or Old Con

    Despite the Great Shiny-Headed One's promises, if/when the Tories get in they will immediately come up with a 'homeland security' scheme to ensure that every migrant worker has a card. Then they will tackle the problem of teenage drinkers and social security scroungers. To cope with the large numbers of unemployed it will be necessary to have an easier way of processing people - especially as the number of staff to deal with unemployment will be cut (central government natural wastage). Eventually it will be seen as a 'good thing' as "only those who have something to hide" will refuse an ID card and those refuseniks wil be prosecuted.

    So, no more bollocks about 'when NU LAb are kicked out', please. The Tories will be far, far worse as they have all thier mates in the city to protect first and fuck the rest of us.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Really?

    For £500,000, I will do the advert for them. Really.

    FFS - £500,000 this year on a marketing campaign for the identity card which features cartoon fingerprints.

    I really don't see the point of a seperate card to the passport etc. TBH - from a technical point of view I would prefer if it was like Sweden where the bank cards have your photo printed on them and job details etc. At least banks have the security infrastructure in place.

  13. Tony Paulazzo

    Ah

    This would be the government that is going to reign in overspending, force banks to not have such obscene bonuses, make sweeping cuts in public spending and make government more answerable to the general public by reintroducing democracy - much as they've been doing these past ten years then.

    >and know how to check the security features.< you just flick it, yea?

    Labour: Promises as above if they get back in, in actuality, trying to force thru ID cards, extra tax on broadband and kicking off the very people who made broadband popular in the first place. Of course, the general populace now require broadband to watch the flash adverts and rewatch Eastenders 'cos 'this week it was bloody good!'

    Thanks for ruining my broadband general populace!

  14. martin burns
    FAIL

    Reminds me far too much of...

    The cartoon DNA used to explain the Science Bit in Jurassic Park. And we all know how *that* turned out, right?

  15. David 45

    Patronising

    I say again - PATRONISING! Do they think we're kids? Over my dead body!

  16. Nomen Publicus
    Grenade

    Start with the causes of ID cards

    Will MPs and labour party officials be paying for their own ID cards before the nationwide roll-out?

    If not, why not?

  17. Geoff Campbell Silver badge
    Big Brother

    @AC 09:41

    I'm with you on that, but such protestations carry more weight when they have a name attached to them, I reckon.

    GJC

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Hmmmm

    So if people are "queing up" to get their cards, as suggested by one NuLabourite, why are they having to spend OUR money to advertise it?

    Do I smell something that roses grow well in?

  19. This post has been deleted by its author

  20. Chris Neale
    Flame

    Mr No TV

    You are the man from the onion!

    CHAPEL HILL, NC–Area resident Jonathan Green does not own a television, a fact he repeatedly points out to friends, family, and coworkers–as well as to his mailman, neighborhood convenience-store clerks, and the man who cleans the hallways in his apartment building.

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    I've only got one finger for the IPS.

    And they can spin on it.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    opt in for now?

    The PR campaign doesn't testify of a great sense of timing. But, coming from Belgium, the idea of a central database with all inhabitants of a country isn't such a big thing. Such a database exists in Belgium for decades - made official in legislation in 1983. I do understand people are afraid of this, but in the end it all comes down to how much you trust your government with sensitive information. I gather this trust is around absolute zero in the UK.

    I think everybody knows what's going to happen next: the government will let you 'opt in' for a year or 5, then it'll become mandatory for everyone, with no 'opt out'.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Elmer Phud

    "Despite the Great Shiny-Headed One's promises, if/when the Tories get in they will immediately come up with a 'homeland security' scheme to ensure that every migrant worker has a card. Then they will tackle the problem of teenage drinkers and social security scroungers. To cope with the large numbers of unemployed it will be necessary to have an easier way of processing people - especially as the number of staff to deal with unemployment will be cut (central government natural wastage). Eventually it will be seen as a 'good thing' as "only those who have something to hide" will refuse an ID card and those refuseniks wil (sic) be prosecuted."

    Although I also do not generally trust the Tories I think you are mistaken, for some or all of the following reasons:

    (1) David "call me Dave" Cameron has already gone on record saying he is against ID cards and will scrap the scheme.

    (2) Migrant workers already have a passport which shows their status and right to work.

    (3) Non migrant workers (us) already have a NI number which shows our status and right to work

    (3a) These days if you apply for a job you will have to prove your right to work no matter what your nationality

    (4) Underage looking drinkers already have to provide ID to prove their age anyway.

    (5) Benefit recipients will have to meet the same criteria as workers regarding eligibility.

    So, although the Tories will certainly try to erode your freedoms it is a fair bet they will not do it through the medium of ID cards. As shown above the information is already available anyway.

  24. ThomH

    @What next? # By Anonymous Coward

    Surely Google are the recent pioneers of kids advertising for adults, with their little comic strips?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    RE: Patronising by David

    "I say again - PATRONISING! Do they think we're kids? Over my dead body!"

    Well considering you lot (UK people) voted in Nu Labour to power in the first place... No, no your not. Children are smarter than that.

    (Fail cause that's what the UK has)

  26. Daniel 1

    They should do this with the National DNA Database

    An animated cartoon DNA spiral... "Hello, it looks like you're trying to commit a crime. Do you want me to help?"

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    yes

    'Businesses need to ensure that their staff are ready to recognise the National Identity Card, and know how to check the security features."'

    That would be the noise it makes when you flick it then? Let's hope they put one of those musical card chips inside it so it plays a jolly tune while an authoritative demon-headmaster-esque voice says "papers please"

    Maybe a hologram of Jacqui Smith wagging her finger in a disapproving fashion while her husband reaches for a cleanex in the background.

    We can get Gordo in on the action too, I'm sure he'd love to be pictured in a superman outfit on the back of the card. And I heard a rumour that when you get your picture taken for the card they're going to have you do it in one of those silly cut out beach resort cartoons you can stick your head through. Who said ID wasn't fun?

    If only someone would invent a barcode that looks like a happy face, I'd have it tattooed on my hand tomorrow. Let's be upbeat about this guys.

  28. Elmer Phud
    IT Angle

    @Lee

    "(1) David "call me Dave" Cameron has already gone on record saying he is against ID cards and will scrap the scheme"

    Hold on there jest a minute Muskie -- are you saying you trust a politician?

    ( especially one who has saved the world by erecting a wind turbine in central London)

  29. Graham Marsden
    Grenade

    Recognise your employee...?

    What about "recognise your employer" or, even better "recognise your MP"? Or how about "recognise your Prime Minister"!

    "Well, I'm sorry, but you just because you *look* like Gordon Brown doesn't prove that you *are* Gordon Brown, so I'm going to have to ask for your ID card and fingerprints before we let you come into the Labour Party Conference..."

    PS @AC Monday 28th September 2009 11:41 GMT "Well considering you lot (UK people) voted in Nu Labour to power in the first place..."

    I sure as hell didn't vote for this bunch of incompetant, power-hungry, nanny state control-freaks! And, for that matter, 65% of the people of this country didn't vote for them either, yet still they got a "majority"!

  30. Nic Brough 1

    Ok

    So there's one thing to add to the list of cuts our next government should make. £500k isn't a heck of a lot, but it's a start.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Geoff Campbell

    I see your point and understand where you're coming from, but in this instance the decision to use AC was not one through any kind of "fear" of having my opinions linked with my "handle" but to illustrate the ability to remain anonymous* if one so desires.

    While using your own name when standing up for your convictions is to applauded** it kind of ruins the point of making a stand about wanting to be anonymous.

    "Hi, my name is Bertie Bertington, but that's absolutely none of your business." doesn't make much sense.

    * I know, that's just one issue with regards to the National ID card and the database state, but I feel I've expressed my feelings towards the rest of it pretty clearly.

    ** Although quite often a little foolhardy.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Lloyd Patton

    If they started taking fingerprints of my children at school I'd chop their fingers off in protest.

  33. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Cartoon fingerprints ?

    So Mickey Mouse is going to take action for identity theft then ?

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    I'm in the queue for one...

    ... and you'll all be kicking yourself when you have to pay full price for yours.

    Ha!

  35. ElFatbob

    errr..

    'So, no more bollocks about 'when NU LAb are kicked out', please. The Tories will be far, far worse as they have all thier mates in the city to protect first and fuck the rest of us.'

    .... which of course is completely unlike Labour who protected all their mates in the city, with taxpayers money, when the bubble they created finally burst and ***ked the rest of us.

    Only the rest of our childrens' lives to pay it back through even more shafting taxes....

    Nah mate, Labour have ***ked us up far worse. Need to take off your Labour rose tinted specs and understand that your lifestyle is going to be seriously cramped for the payback....

  36. Brian Mankin
    Joke

    @ I'm in the queue for one... (AC 15:24)

    "... and you'll all be kicking yourself when you have to pay full price for yours."

    We won't have to kick ourselves. I'm sure the state will provide people to do that for us.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    'Know Your Enemy!'

    "This will help businesses with 'know your employee' and 'know your customer' checks"

    I thought the phrase was supposed to be, 'know your enemy'?

    Oh, I get it. They're synonyms.

  38. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Joke

    Know who your employees are eh?

    Well I reckon Gordon can use some influence to get a free batch issued to the merry men and women of the PLP?

    Can't be too careful. After all with all their details on the database of those £64k PA jobs it's likely the best way to beef up the security on this virtual stiched together system.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    I'm only a politician

    I can tell you the truth, which you won't believe and I won't be able to support; or

    I can lie and you'll just call me a liar because it's less work that dealing with all the other lying

    politicians out there.

    Come on you; you can't have both.

  40. N2

    @ I'm in the queue for one...

    Count me out, Im going to fuck off elsewhere if it ever becomes compulsory

  41. zenkaon
    Grenade

    What do the Tories say

    If the tories say they will scrap this nonsense ID database in their manifesto then I will vote for them.

    Nu Labour is becoming increasingly controlling and the UK is becoming a police state

    Gordon and Mandy can fuck off

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @Elmer Phud

    "

    "(1) David "call me Dave" Cameron has already gone on record saying he is against ID cards and will scrap the scheme"

    Hold on there jest a minute Muskie -- are you saying you trust a politician?

    "

    Absolutely not, however I trust a politician to understand the damage that will be done should he make an absolute statement and then fail to deliver.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AC at 02:18

    Politicians will only be trusted when they face consequences for lying. If they renege on manifesto promises, or suddenly bring up ideas that they've been nurturing back in their lairs but didn't mention until they were safely ensconced, then they should immediately have to take it to the country. No nice 'retirement' pay-offs like those caught with their noses in the expenses trough either.

  44. Michael Dunn
    Coat

    @nomen publicus

    You wrote:

    Will MPs and labour party officials be paying for their own ID cards before the nationwide roll-out?

    Of course, but they will then claim reimbursement on expenses.

    A nice line of fake ID cards in the inside pocket.

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